September 2003

NEWPORT, R.I. - Mr. Potato Head is missing, and police want to know who took the tourism-touting tater.

The 6-foot tall, 150-pound statue was stolen Friday from the driveway of a private estate. James Leach called police after he heard his driveway alarm sounding about 3 a.m. He looked outside and saw a vehicle near the street.

The statue was located within the gates of the 17-acre Malbone Estate which were open at the time, Leach said.

In 2000, the Rhode Island Tourism Division introduced the Mr. Potato Head figures to promote the state as a family tourist destination. After the advertising campaign, several of the statues were auctioned off on eBay, with proceeds benefiting charity.

“We are wondering where and when it will turn up,” Leach said. “So far, no ransom note has been found.”

She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh
I told her I didn’t and crawled off to sleep in the bath.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Florida defensive end Steven Harris pleaded no contest to misdemeanor battery Wednesday and is eligible to play this week against Tennessee.

Chris O’Brien’s Top Ten First Year in New Zealand Facts

1. This has been the hardest and most stressful year of my life.
2. NZ teachers couldn’t teach a fish to swim.
3. It is harder than you could ever imagine to be this far from friends and family.
4. Even though everyone thinks the US is wrong all the time, everyone wants to be the US.
5. The people here are retarded and couldn’t have a conversation with anyone.
6. The landscapes here are breathtaking but it is cold all the time.
7. Home ownership is great, but alot of work.
8. We are ready to get out of here and start a new part of our lives.
9. NZ is overrated.
10. News updates on TV always have news on music b/c nothing important happens here.

Tiny Dancer - Elton John

Note to hep-cat Amazon employees: “Perl the programming language” <> “Pearl Jam the rock band”.