March 2004

PETA Ups Anti-KFC Campaign With Buckets o’ Blood
A label on the bucket says “Just for you, KFC’s suppliers cram thousands of chickens into filthy sheds, sear baby chicks’ beaks off with a hot wire, slam the birds into crates (breaking their wings and legs), slice their throats open and scald them to death while they’re still conscious. Enjoy.”

The buckets are reminiscent of the “Unhappy Meals” PETA began distributing in 2000 as part of a public relations assault against McDonald’s. The boxes, similar to the Happy Meals that McDonald’s serves to children, contained a stuffed doll that looked like Ronald McDonald holding a bloody butcher’s knife.

Blue in the Face - Alkaline Trio

GAINESVILLE, Fla. - Most analysts have identified the Steelers needs in the upcoming NFL Draft as being at cornerback and offensive tackle, and everyone knows the team always is in the lookout for another pass-rusher to plug into its 3-4, and Coach Bill Cowher got a chance to see what might be available when he was at the University of Florida on Tuesday as part of an NFL contingent on hand for the Gators’ pro day.

The fifth Bachelor edition will also follow the established gradual process of elimination, as Jesse narrows the field of women from twenty-five to fifteen on the season premiere, presenting each of his choices with a single red rose. Jesse then closes the gap to 10, six, four, three, two and, ultimately, the one woman who captures his heart. As always, if at any point along the way any of the women decide that they are no longer interested in Jesse, they may reject his invitation to continue dating.

Jesse Palmer was drafted by the Giants in 2001 and became the team’s top back-up quarterback last season. Jesse ranks fourth on the University of Florida Gators’ all-time list with a 133.14 passing efficiency rating and was named to the Southeastern Conference’s Academic Honor Roll for the third straight year in 2000.

Even though they allow for high-volume servicing and back-in-a-flash trips to the john, the point-and-shoot-a-stinky-deodorizer-cake oddity known as the men’s restroom urinal has been, for women, a constant enigma. But nothing will prepare you for the men’s room in the newly-designed Virgin Airways Clubhouse in New York’s John F. Kennedy airport, terminal 4: Urinals shaped like a woman’s mouth, dolled up with red lipstick, wide open and ready for business.

Lewies Blog

Update: Lewies used to have a good article on how to execute FTP processes via ASP. It is apparently no longer there.

In March 2004 the California municipality of Aliso Viejo (a suburb in Orange County) came within a cat’s whisker of falling for this hoax after a paralegal there convinced city officials of the danger posed by this chemical. The leg-pull got so far as a vote having been scheduled for the City Council on a proposed law that would have banned the use of foam containers at city-sponsored events because (among other things) they were made with DHMO, a substance that could “threaten human health and safety.”

Kentucky AD Mitch Barnhart wrote a letter to Florida basketball coach Billy Donovan, apologizing for Kentucky students’ behavior on the final regular-season game.

Students held up a sign with the picture of Florida star Matt Walsh’s girlfriend, Playboy playmate Lauren Anderson, portrayed in a revealing top with CATS written on it.

Okay, so I don’t get it. In Kentucky they were taunting one of our players for dating a Playboy Playmate? In what alternate universe do the Kentucky fans think it is not a good thing to be dating a Miss July?

While the free agent stars of the NFL jet across the country, seeking mind-boggling contracts with multimillion-dollar signing bonuses, Danny Wuerffel goes to work each day in one of the worst neighborhoods in America.

Wuerffel could not be happier about it.

I’ve been enjoying chewing this new Altoids Gum. Today, however, I just noticed that one of the ingredients is Carnuba Wax. Color me crazy, but isn’t that the stuff you use on your car? This is most curious indeed. Am I waxing my teeth? Will chewing this gum provide any sort of dentrifice protection against the elements? And where the hell is Carnuba? Who are these mysterious Carnubites and when did they begin making wax?

FSU invited University of Florida student Mike Murphy to its annual gambling symposium. Murphy spoke to the group about a friend’s compulsive gambling. But he also opened his speech to FSU student-athletes with a reference to the officiating in last season’s FSU-Florida football game. FSU football players weren’t impressed.

Steve Spurrier has kept a low profile since his abrupt departure from the Washington Redskins, even ducking through airports in sunglasses and a hat.

He’s not trying to hide anything. He’s just enjoying retirement after 20 seasons as a “head ball coach” in college and pro football.

Spurrier says his new life so relaxing that he plans to do nothing more strenuous this fall than watching his son’s high school games. He’s not interested in broadcasting and won’t return to the sidelines–not in 2004 and possibly never.

Does anybody know of any way to have IIS automatically restart itself every few hours? Do tell.

CLEMSON — Florida State University football coach Bobby Bowden questioned the rape allegation by former Colorado kicker Katie Hnida, defended the character of Colorado coach Gary Barnett and acknowledged college football’s “black eye” from recent recruiting scandals on Monday.

Bowden made his comments in an interview with reporters Monday at Clemson University before giving at lecture titled, “Changes in College Football During His Lifetime: What is Good and What is Bad.”