Go Quahogs! (Part II)

from extendedabstract.com’s rejected letter to the editor of the UMass Daily Collegian

We can immediately think of some great chants for athletic events like “Go Hogs, Go Hogs, Go Hogs.” We could even use our arms while we chant to simulate the closing of the clam shell - much like the Florida Gators do. And finally you could do great graphics with an animated clam with big googly eyes and a mean face. Everyone would proudly wear sweatshirts with a simple “Q” on the front with the attitude that if you have to ask, you wouldn’t understand.

The Fighting Quahogs would be the talk of the sports world.

But regardless of all this, if you are honest, you just know that the arrival of the Gray Wolves on campus would be greeted with a resounding yawn. It might as well be a husky. You wouldn’t tell your friends, you wouldn’t buy the shirt or hat or banner. You wouldn’t go and howl at the basketball game. Jim Rome wouldn’t even talk about it on the radio. But the Quahogs, or Fighting Quahogs, or Killer Quahogs you know would be the talk of the sports world, random people would want our merchandise, and you would enthusiastically cheer on our teams with “CO-HOGS, CO-HOGS.” You would even go to the concession and buy a clam roll. It’s the total package.

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