Friday, October 14, 2005
This is one of those excellent links that you hope will always be on-line somewhere, but that you know will soon disappear into the lost history of the web.
DKNY Men’s Leather Pants I Unfortunately Own
These were not cheap leather pants. They are Donna Karan leather pants. They’re for men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it.
…
They are size 34×34. I am no longer size 34×34, so even were I to suddenly decide I was a famous gay biker I would not be able to wear these pants. These pants are destined for someone else. For reasons unknown - perhaps to keep my options open, in case I wanted to become a pirate - I have shuffled these unworn pants from house to house, closet to closet. Alas, it is now time to part ways so that I may use the extra room for any rhinestone-studded jeans I may purchase in the future.
These pants are in excellent condition. They were never taken on pirate expeditions. They weren’t worn onstage. They didn’t straddle a Harley, or a guy named Harley. They just hung there, sad and ignored, for a few presidencies.
Someone, somewhere, will look great in these pants. I’m hoping that someone is you, or that you can be suckered into buying them by a girl you’re trying to bed.
Sunday, October 9, 2005
I haven’t written anything meaningful in a while, so why start now? Here’s some quick notes from me, because I know you care.
- The poll question on ESPN’s college football page is, “Who will win Saturday’s showdown in South Bend?” As of quarter-past eleven Sunday night, 58% of the voters are picking Notre Dame. As much as I love Weis’ Wunderkids, as much as I love an underdog, as much as I loved Rudy, as much as I love a good upset, and as much as I would love someone to take down the Trojans … I live in LA. I get to watch USC every week. USC is ridiculously good. USC is better than Florida was in 95-96, and that’s a tough thing to admit. USC is going to beat the tar out of Notre Dame.
- In Her Shoes is a terrific movie. It’s well-written, the acting is superb, the soundtrack is good, the plot is lovely, and you get to see a lot of Cameron Diaz skin.
- If you are not winning by more than a touchdown with less than a minute on the clock, do not fool yourself into thinking you’ve beaten the Patriots.
- A History of Violence is bad. It is pathetically bad. It is painfully bad. The plot is actually pretty darn good. The acting, writing, soundtrack, editing, and hell even the title fonts are wretched. I am seriously considering writing William Hurt and Viggo Whatsisname and asking for $21.50. Spend an hour and a half picking up dog crap around your neighborhood rather than seeing it.
- Grey’s Anatomy is almost as good as West Wing.
