A funny eBay product description

An Unfortunate Decision.  Bad Pants.

This is one of those excellent links that you hope will always be on-line somewhere, but that you know will soon disappear into the lost history of the web.

DKNY Men’s Leather Pants I Unfortunately Own
These were not cheap leather pants. They are Donna Karan leather pants. They’re for men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it.

They are size 34×34. I am no longer size 34×34, so even were I to suddenly decide I was a famous gay biker I would not be able to wear these pants. These pants are destined for someone else. For reasons unknown – perhaps to keep my options open, in case I wanted to become a pirate – I have shuffled these unworn pants from house to house, closet to closet. Alas, it is now time to part ways so that I may use the extra room for any rhinestone-studded jeans I may purchase in the future.

These pants are in excellent condition. They were never taken on pirate expeditions. They weren’t worn onstage. They didn’t straddle a Harley, or a guy named Harley. They just hung there, sad and ignored, for a few presidencies.

Someone, somewhere, will look great in these pants. I’m hoping that someone is you, or that you can be suckered into buying them by a girl you’re trying to bed.


There are 2 comments on this post

  1. This was quite a funny story but it makes me wonder why you would even own such a pair of pants if you are not gay or a biker. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

  2. The male owner of a pair of these pants could be a no care kind of guy. I am sure he would have to be stinky, hairy, and trying to fit in.

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