This is Club Awesome.

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There’s no use in regret. You can’t change anything.
Your mother died unhappy with the way you turned
out. You and your father were not on speaking terms
when he died, and you left your wife for no good
reason. Well, it’s past. You may as well regret missing
out on the conquest of Mexico. That would have been
just your kind of thing back when you were eighteen:
a bunch of murderous Spaniards, out to destroy a
culture and get rich. On the other hand, the Aztecs
were no great shakes either. It’s hard to know whom
to root for in this situation. The Aztecs thought they
had to sacrifice lots of people to keep the sun coming
up every day. And it worked. The sun rose every day.
But it was backbreaking labor, all that sacrificing.
The priests had to call in the royal family to help,
and their neighbors, the gardener, the cooks…. You
can see how this is going to end. You are going to
have your bloody, beating heart ripped out, but you
are going to have to stand in line, in the hot sun, for
hours, waiting your turn.
by Louis Jenkins, from Tin Flag: New and Selected Prose Poems

December 10th, 2014 @ 9:33 am
Baby, It’s Cold Outside

My wife is still pretty awesome. Baby It's Cold Outside – watch more funny videos

December 5th, 2014 @ 7:39 am
Friday Five: 1973

vinylMy five favorite songs from 1973:

  1. Radar LoveGolden Earring
  2. Live and Let DiePaul McCartney
  3. Stuck in the Middle with YouStealers Wheel
  4. Sweet JaneThe Velvet Underground
  5. KodachromePaul Simon

Continue reading …

November 21st, 2014 @ 9:22 am
Friday Five: Clapton Is God

ClaptonMy five favorite Eric Clapton songs:

  1. She’s WaitingBehind the Sun
  2. San Fransisco Bay BluesUnplugged
  3. Before You Accuse MeJourneyman
  4. It’s in the Way that You Use ItAugust
  5. Run So FarJourneyman
November 20th, 2014 @ 8:42 am
The Essex

On this date in 1820, a sperm whale attacked a whaling ship off the coast of South America. The Essex hailed from Nantucket, Massachusetts, and was captained by George Pollard Jr. Pollard was only 29, the youngest man to ever command a whaling ship; the Essex, by contrast, was pretty old, and she was also […]

November 14th, 2014 @ 7:11 am
Friday Five: Kevin Kline

Kevin KlineMy five favorite Kevin Kline movies:

  1. The Pirates of Penzance
    The Pirate King
  2. Soapdish
    Jeffrey Anderson / Dr. Rod Randall
  3. A Fish Called Wanda
    Otto
  4. Dave
    Dave Kovic / Bill Mitchell
  5. French Kiss
    Luc Teyssier
November 7th, 2014 @ 6:55 am
Friday Five: Stone Temple Pilots

Tiny Music...Songs From the Vatican Gift ShopHere are my five favorite Stone Temple Pilots songs:

  1. Sour GirlNo. 4
  2. Interstate Love SongPurple
  3. AtlantaNo. 4
  4. PlushCore
  5. Big Bang BabyTiny Music…Songs From the Vatican Gift Shop
October 31st, 2014 @ 7:18 am
Friday Five: Scary Movies

JawsI tried to come up with five scary movies for this Halloween Friday Five, but I could only think of three films that actually ever scared the bejesus out of me when I was a kid. (I’ve never seen any of the Nightmare on Elm Street, Texas Chainsaw, or Friday the 13th movies; mom would never let us watch them!)

  • Jaws
  • The Thing
  • Gremlins

If you had to pick just two scary movies, what would you suggest I add to the list?

October 3rd, 2014 @ 6:54 am
Friday Five: Battlestar Galactica

Battlestar GalacticaMy five favorite characters from the original Battlestar Galactica television series:

  1. Starbuck
  2. Apollo
  3. Adama
  4. Boomer
  5. Cassiopeia
September 12th, 2014 @ 4:08 am
Friday Five: Blondie

Blondie - Heart of GlassIn honor of my wife’s birthday today, the Friday Five list is songs by Blondie. Here are my five favorite:

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There are books in which the footnotes or comments scrawled by some reader’s hand in the margin are more interesting than the text. The world is one of these books.
George Santayana

August 29th, 2014 @ 7:54 am
Friday Five: After School

Five shows I remember watching at my grandparents’ house every day with my little sister after school while we waited for mom to come home from work:

  • The Beverly Hillbillies
  • M*A*S*H
  • Three’s Company
  • Alice
  • Barney Miller
August 22nd, 2014 @ 5:21 am
Friday Five: Songs About Jane

Songs about Jane

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“A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.”
Alfred Hitchcock

July 18th, 2014 @ 8:04 am
Friday Five: Batman Villains

Batman

  1. Ra’s al Ghul
  2. Joker
  3. Riddler
  4. Two-Face
  5. Solomon Grundy

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I have no fans. You know what I got? Customers. And customers are your friends.
Mickey Spillane

July 11th, 2014 @ 6:34 am
Friday Five: Weird Al

Weird AlMy five favorite Weird Al Yankovic songs:

  1. One More Minute
  2. This Is the Life
  3. Eat It
  4. Cable TV
  5. eBay

William Faulkner’s Review of Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea

July 4th, 2014 @ 8:53 am
Friday Five: Patriotic Movies

Uncle Sam

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“You stopped breathing once when you were five weeks old. Did I ever tell you that?”

No, she certainly hadn’t.

“I was about to take a bath and then I thought I’d better check the crib, so I went in and you weren’t moving at all. I thought you were dead. I snatched you up and tore out of the house to the Jensens’ and pounded on the door, and right then you let out a cry. Anyway, we took you to the doctor.”

“What did the doctor say?”

“He wasn’t sure. He didn’t think it was a seizure. I guess it was just one of those things that happens sometimes.” Then she got up to make a salad for supper.

That’s how Mother told stories. Never enough detail, and she always left you hanging at the end. If she had gone ahead and run the bath water, I’d be dead right now. And it was “just one of those things that happens sometimes”? I felt a little weak myself. I had gotten over the fear that I’d stop breathing during the night, all those years I used to remind myself to breathe, and now this. So I wasn’t dumb to think that your breath could stop at any time. It could happen right now, sitting on a white kitchen chair in a cool breeze and drinking iced tea. Fall over dead on the linoleum. Thirteen years old, dead.
Garrison Keillor, Lake Wobegon Days