News

There was a story this morning about gay marriage on LA’s 89.3 KPCC. I was infinitely more offended by the fact that reporter Kelly Wilkinson pronounced the word “rural” as “rurl” and the word “unfamiliar” as “unfermiliar” than I was about any part of the gay rights argument.

From a Special Report in the June 2008 issue Men’s Health magazine:

Research has shown that a few puffs of cigarette smoke plug fully half of the brain’s natural receptor sites for acetylcholine … After as little as seven cigarettes over the course of a single month, a nicotine virgin’s brain has begun compensating by sprouting additional receptors.

Think smoking is cool? Go read Why Are Men Still Smoking? and learn about how “big tobacco” is spending millions to make you think that.

A seal has been caught on camera trying to have sex with a penguin.

Looking for a list of the typical PTO dates for 2008? Yeah, I was, too. Here it is.
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I’d have to say that “the back seat of my car” is somewhere near the top of my list of Places Not to Keep an Alligator.

Anti-Shark Device Eaten by Irony-Loving Great White

“I would never had done any of this if I thought there would have been an accident.” — Jim Abernethy, Scuba Adventures

Right. Of course. You’re just dumping bloody fish chunks into the ocean and then letting people swim with really aggressive sharks. What could possibly go wrong?

In other news: Dave Davidson was the author of the study.

Here’s a classic from the Onion for today: Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell

Chewbacca Assaults Marilyn At Kodak Theater

People naturally worry about splashier threats, such as shark attacks. However, the Marons’ research found there were 16 sand hole or tunnel deaths in the United States from 1990 to 2006 compared with 12 fatal shark attacks for the same period, according to University of Florida statistics.

Renowned cat veterinarian and beloved Cornell University professor James Richards died Tuesday from injuries suffered in a motorcycle accident that occurred on Sunday.
Richards, the director of Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine’s Feline Health Center, was thrown from his motorcycle when he attempted to avoid a cat in the road.

There’s a neat story on SFGate.com about the 101^st anniversary of the San Francisco earthquake. This year only one man who was there at the time made it to the festivities, 104-yr old Herbert Hamrol. As far as I’m concerned, the most fascinating thing about the article is not that this man is over a century old. It’s not even that the old guy got out of bed at 2:30 in the morning to make it to the ceremony. It’s that it notes Hamrol took the day off work to attend. What the hell?! Retire, dude!

One of the all-time best stand-up comedians, Richard Jeni (official page, currently down), apparently committed suicide this weekend. My girlfriend and I read about his death on Perez last night as we were getting ready to watch Rome. Just the night before, while celebrating a friend’s birthday at the Dresden, a few of us were talking about his hysterical HBO special, A Big Steaming Pile Of Me, how difficult stand-up is, and how few real geniuses there are in the field.
I still have that show on the TiVo in the guest room. It will be that much harder to delete it now.