A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it.

The Forgotten Giant Arrows That Guide You Across America

ForeverlyBillie Joe Armstrong + Norah Jones cover The Everly Brothers

November 24th, 2013 @ 6:27 pm
A Last Meal

I am increasingly convinced that a tremendous amount of yin and yang is important to a successful marriage. My wife and I have dramatically different opinions about dining, for example: She lives to eat. I eat to live.

If you were to give each of us an hour to decide what we wanted for a last meal, my wife would spend the time agonizing over which restaurant made the best fish tacos. She’d consult all of the multiple lists on her iPhone dedicated to her favorite chefs, dining establishments she’s always dreamed of visiting, recipes she’s loved in the past and ones she’s planned on cooking in the future. She’d call our brother-in-law for wine recommendations and she’d pore over lists of cocktails made with organic vodka and imported cucumbers.

In the end she’d present you with a blueprint for a nine-course tasting menu and insist she requires another two hours to get dressed properly.

I, on the other hand, would spend the entire sixty minutes frantically wondering why I was to be killed and desperately trying to plot an escape, and would never once think about eating.
Continue reading …

November 22nd, 2013 @ 4:16 am
Friday Five: Favorite Cold Remedies

Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold MedicineHow do I spell relief? Here are five of my favorite ways to handle being sick:

Yours Truly, Dr. Z.

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Jokes are democratic. Telling one right has nothing to do with having money or being educated. It’s a knack, like hammering a nail straight. Anyone can learn it, and it’s useful in all sorts of situations. You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy.
Garrison Keillor

States Aim To Cure Hyper-Partisanship With Primary Changes

Robert B. Parker is dead. Long live Robert B. Parker!

November 15th, 2013 @ 6:32 am
Friday Five: Bull Durham Quotes

Bull DurhamFive of my favorite lines from the movie Bull Durham:

  • “I told him that a player on a streak has to respect the streak.” — Crash Davis
  • “I want to give him the heat and announce my presence with authority!” — Ebby Calvin LaLoosh
  • “In the show, everyone can hit heat.” — Crash Davis
  • “The world is made for people who aren’t cursed with self awareness.” — Annie Savoy
  • “Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls – it’s more democratic.” — Crash Davis

A Pizza Diatribe

Evidence Based Scheduling

November 8th, 2013 @ 6:22 am
Friday Five: Favorite (Non-Chip) Snacks

HersheyI love me some Cool Ranch Doritos™, so I had to make this list more specific.

  • Hershey’s Milk Chocolate with Almonds
  • Milk Chocolate Non Pareils
  • krackel
  • Nestlé Crunch
  • Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Miniatures

How Not to Say the Wrong Thing: The Ring Theory of Kvetching

November 6th, 2013 @ 5:58 pm
The Five Stages of Feeding a Toddler
See also: Kübler-Ross
  1. Denial
    “What? You can’t be serious. You just said you wanted peanut butter and jelly.”
  2. Anger
    “You eat this bite right now. Sit down! Eat it!”
  3. Bargaining
    “Please? Please have another bite? If you have another bite you can have more chocolate milk.”
  4. Depression
    “I can’t believe you’re not going to eat any more. I am a horrible parent.”
  5. Acceptance
    “Okay. Fine. Yes. Forget it. Go play with Thomas.”

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“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

@sadderthan retweets and replies to things that are sadder than things you think nothing is sadder than.

Daylight Saving Time: America’s Greatest Shame

November 1st, 2013 @ 3:56 am
Friday Five: Favorite Drinks

GuinnessMy five favorite alcoholic beverages:

  • Gin & Tonic
    I’m partial to Hendrick’s, but am happy to try other gins.
  • Budwesier
    I really like Sam Adams Light and Sam Adams Boston Lager, but Budweiser is classic.
  • Jack & Coke
    I’m not much of a whiskey man, but nothing beats a Jack & Coke at a midnight concert in LA.
  • Joan Collins
    It’s a Tom Collins with vodka instead of gin. Technically it’s a Comrade Collines or simply a Vodka Collins, but my friend calls it a Joan because he thinks I sound very feminine when I order one.
  • Guinness
    This is by far my favorite beer.

Here’s The Truth About Your ‘Private’ Health Insurance — It’s Already A Big Government Program

See Your Folks