cable

I was listening to Colin Cowherd’s “The Herd” on my local ESPNRadio affiliate while I drove to work this morning. Colin was talking about the fact that the vast majority of cable companies are not carrying the NFLNetwork. Apparently the Rutgers bowl game is going to be on the NFLN and that means that most of New York and New Jersey viewers will not get the game. He said that he thinks ESPN (the television network) should be worried about the NFLNetwork penetrating basic cable because it represents more competition for viewers. I completely disagree.

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Los Angeles’ TimeWarner cable — previously known as Adelphia — is rotten. It is quite possibly the worst cable company in America. Two years ago they dropped the ESPN Gameplan, so there was no way for me to watch the Gators unless I hauled my butt over to Westwood to catch them at the UGA bar on the UCLA campus or drove way, way the hell down to Tony P’s in Marina Del Rey. The cable at my home was spotty — when it was alive at all — for almost all of August, and the internet connection was down more often than it was up. When they decided to drop the NFL Network at the start of football season this year, it was the straw that broke this camel’s back. I switched to satellite. DirecTV, baby. It rocks. If you are a football fan, you must switch. I’m telling you. I don’t say this lightly. I am getting every single NFL game every weekend. I can watch every college game I want. I’m getting all the premium stations — HBO, CineMAX, Showtime, etc. — plus about three times more channels than I ever got with cable. I didn’t even have to pay for the dish or the receivers or the installation! And I’m saving $80/mo! Don’t be a slave to crappy cable! Switch now!

And now for some random Sunday afternoon NFL thoughts:

• Okay. the new ref uniforms look lame. I don’t hate them, but … they just don’t seem right.
• One word about the Vikings’ cheerleaders: Whoa.
• Kudos to FOX for using the Jane’s Addiction classic “Jane Says” during a commercial comeback.
• Chicago @ Minnesota = Rex Grossman @ Brad Johnson = UF @ FSU. Awesome.
• Has FOX always had the down and distance arrows in the color of the team with possession? Very cool.
• Peter from the Family Guy just rules.
• Peyton Manning is apparently in every single commercial on television. The thing is, I can’t complain. He’s funny.
• I dig the Steve Young Samsung commercial. “Watch the safety blitz!” heh.
• I also dig the Circuit City commercial with the wife saying, “I promise to only watch football on Sunday. And Saturday. And Monday. And sometimes Thursday.”
• What is up with the crazy robots on FOX? They’ve been doing it for years, and I just don’t get it.
• NFL player jerseys must be made of some sort of 22nd century kevlar carbon titanium NASA fabric. If someone grabbed one of my shirts like that it would rip instantaneously. Those things stretch like nobody’s business. I watched seven college games yesterday (not including highlights) and saw at least five jerseys and one pair of pants shredded to pieces. Does the NCAA disallow the use of space-age garment technology?
• THE TOSS SWEEP NEVER WORKS! Why do coaches insist on calling this ridiculous play on short yardage downs? You’re throwing the ball backwards!
• There are 8 minutes left in the Cardinals / Rams game, I can’t stand Kurt Warner, the Cardinals are down by nine, and I’m rooting for them.
  Update: Bulger just fumbled the handoff at the two-minute warning. Ha!
  Update 2: And now Warner fumbled. Pathetic.
• “Football Night in America” is a tragically poor name for a highlight show. And just who is Bob Costas blackmailing to continually get on television? The guy seriously takes everything with too large a pinch of melodrama. One of the reasons we love Madden so much is because he knows — just like we do — that football is really a silly game. Sure, it’s life and death and the players are gods amongst men and it’s a multi-billion dollar industry and America’s passion … but you have to just love the absurdity of it all, like John does. Chill out, Bob. (Note: At least he’s got Collinswoth and Bettis as some sort of comic relief.)
• When Bobbo was interviewing Carson Palmer, the subtitle under the Bengals QB read “Pittsburgh”. The subtitle underneath Costas was “30 Rock”. Is this some sort of attempt to make NBC’s NY studios cool? It doesn’t work.
• I cannot wait to see the Saints and the Falcons tomorrow night.
• WTF? Bucs’ QB Chris Simms just had his spleen removed?! What the hell happened? How was this not mentioned until a half hour into the late game?!
• With about three minutes left in the game, Al said that next week’s contest at Cincy would be a real “litmus test” for the Patriots. Apparently getting crushed on your own field by a team that’s had your number five out of the last six times you’ve played isn’t a test.
• James Brown noted that Carson Palmer had a “plethora” of weapons at his disposal. Go, JB.

How’s this for annoying? When I returned from San Diego I realized that the cable company had rearranged all the channels. ESPN2 moved from 68 to 32. The TV Guide channel (previously 44 and the most-useful of all stations) is missing. And I can’t find Animal Planet (used to be 59) anywhere. Crikey! I don’t know what’s going to happen if I can’t find the Crocodile Hunter.

If you live in the Gainesville / Ocala Florida COX Cable market you have a chance to see my mom on television. She’s in the currently-airing COX Happy Holidays commercial, sitting at her desk and waving at the camera. Wave to her and tell her how much you love being a COX Cable subscriber. Hi, mom!

I am Jack’s friend Chris who is going to be really mad at Jack when he finds out that Jack’s other friend has yet to return Chris’ cable box.

Right now Bud clocks in at 485.7 Kbps (59.5 K bytes/sec) at Microsoft’s Bandwidth Speed Test. This is considerably better than the 19.4 Kbps he used to get through the old 28.8 modem. I don’t know how that compares to ADSL, but I don’t really care. It’s plenty fast for me.

Everything in the previous post is completely true. That is a very accurate representation of my birthday. Any resemblance to Brad’s tale of aDSL hell is purely coincidental and if you haven’t read it yet, you should.

The cable guy came to the house on Friday so there are now 130 channels of mind-numbingly horrible entertainment in my home. While he was here he convinced me to get RoadRunner cable internet service. It wasn’t that tough of a sell after all the shenanigans I’ve experienced simply trying to *find out* how to get DSL. Jeez. I hadn’t even begun to try and *get* DSL. So my birthday present to myself will be to hang out here from 10am to noon and wait for the RoadRunner guy to start me on my way to blazing, always-on, internet service. That, and I think I will go buy the new Sony 5-Disc changer with digital MiniDisc link that I’ve wanted for like a week. Then I will have TWO … count ‘em … TWO Sony 5-Disc changers. I am a heathen.