contextless content

GatorDVG: I didn’t know Elton John was gay until like 2002.
a.friend: well, i can see that. I mean in the ’70s (when I was listening to him) he was considered cool rock and roll
a.friend: still kinda is, just the gay thing never came up
GatorDVG: I just thought the Donald Duck costume was him being kooky.
a.friend: so did everyone else…sort of like David Bowie
GatorDVG: wait
GatorDVG: David Bowie is gay?
GatorDVG: are you serious??
a.friend: u said that like you were a kid who just found out about the Easter Bunny
GatorDVG: dude
GatorDVG: come on
GatorDVG: really?
a.friend: really

kelly: You eat cottage cheese?
GatorDVG: never
kelly: Ah. Too bad.
GatorDVG: as far as I’m concerned, it’s just some sort of cheese and spoiled milk combination. two of my least favorite things on the planet.
kelly: Excellent for breakfast and before bedtime. Just the right blend of slow digesting carbs, protein and fat.
kelly: I hear you. People either like it or loathe it.
GatorDVG: and, I can only assume, it’s produced in cottages. that can’t be sanitary.
kelly: They’re very clean cottages though. They sweep them with those handmade brooms, like in fairly tales.
GatorDVG: ahh

allison: did you know i also get earthquake text messages?
allison: anything over 4.0 in so cal
allison: bitchin
GatorDVG: so when the big ones comes and you’re lying under a pile of rubble, like five minutes later you’ll get a text message
GatorDVG: that’s great
allison: yeah well i’d like to know how bad it was
GatorDVG: you’ll be able to tell by simply counting how many of your limbs were severed
allison: totally
allison: but in numbers

David Vincent Gagne says:
you know what’s obnoxious?
ebay
ebay is retardo
they email me when I have LOST an auction

David Vincent Gagne says:
why the #$@* would I want an email like that?

a.friend says:
i don’t even have the energy to talk abt why I hate ebay
they send you might want to bid on ….

David Vincent Gagne says:
why the hell don’t they email me ten minutes BEFORE it’s over if I’m not in the lead?
THAT would be useful

a.friend says:
they should do that
yes
next time I see you I will tell you what happened with us
we were managing an ebay store for a client
we had 54k in products online

David Vincent Gagne says:
or at the very least they should have an “Add to Outlook” link on every item so you can store a reminder in your calendar

a.friend says:
they shut off the store

David Vincent Gagne says:
wow
what were they selling?

a.friend says:
dental supplies
everything was kosher
i will tell you in person

David Vincent Gagne says:
jewish dental supplies?

a.friend says:
i mean, it wasn’t black market

David Vincent Gagne says:
there’s your problem, dude

a.friend says:
we had invoices

David Vincent Gagne says:
NOBODY but NOBODY lets you deal in jewish dental supplies

Contextless Content: A portion of a conversation, usually from an instant messenger platform.

Subtitled: “Everything I Own Is in a Box to the Left?”

He says: I don’t understand why she keeps mentioning “everything you own in a box to the left”. It doesn’t make any sense to me.

He says: What does the box’s orientation in relation to me have to do with anything?

She says: because she packed up all his s**t

He says: But why does it matter whether it’s on the left or right?

He says: She seems quite adamant that he understands that it is on the left.

[click to continue...]

Contextless Content: A portion of a conversation, usually from an instant messenger platform.

Josh says:
if me and you were in a dark alley in Compton or a haunted mansion and you said, hey this is pretty scary, let’s split up. I would say, I have a better idea, no

David says:
1. I would never be with you in either of those places.
2. I would never suggest splitting up, either.
But if you had a bullet wound and were bleeding to death, I would probably have to say, stay here and I’ll go get help.

Josh says:
you never know when we could just be visiting some haunted mansion behind a dark alley, in Compton
after I was just shot

David says:
that’s what’s amazing
I do know
March 3rd
be prepared

Josh says:
k
i’ll bring a bullet proof vest

David says:
it’s too late

David says:
it’s a leg wound anyway

Contextless Content: A portion of a conversation, usually from an instant messenger platform.

GatorDavid says:
wait a minute …

GatorDavid says:
I *do* have the irresistable urge to break into a zoo, jump the fence and try and french-kiss the pissiest looking polar bear …

Tober says:
you’re screwed dude.

“you my friend, are, if possible, more obtuse than i am.” - Brad Graham, via ICQ

“screw context, i’ll make up my own stuff … it’s much more fun that way … ” - received via ICQ

from Jorge, via ICQ:
No, silly … everyone knows that there are two very distinct species of Mr. Potato Heads … the non-poisonous, non-toxic Potatus Headus Nonperilus and the fatally poisonous, very exotic Potatus Headus If-it-catches-you-it-will-poisoin-you-badus …