family

The awe-inspiring Jennifer A. Gagne, my little sister, is en route to Alaska with her friend, Alicia. They are going to work for the Summer as rangers at Denali National Park. How friggin’ cool is that? (They’ve created a website to record their travels, of course.)

Congratulations to my little sister-in-law! Last night she was named the State of Florida’s 2008-2009 Seminole County Teacher of the Year!

Last night I finished reading When the Mob Ran Vegas, a great book that I grabbed at the McCarran Airport on my last trip to Sin City. At times the book suffers from some pretty poor grammar and editing, but the stories are so fascinating that you can forgive the author’s quirky, personal style. Plus, I mean, the guy has got to have a contract on his head; there are dozens of personal anecdotes involving organized crime and its perpetrators, and he really lays the lumber to Sinatra a few times. My mom’s side of the family is 100% Italian — the old school Rhode Island kind <wink wink> — so I recognized pretty much all the characters. (Tales of “the Family” were frequent dinner conversation at my house when I was a kid.) I really enjoyed reading about all the connections to Hollywood and the movie industry, too. If you order a copy from the author’s website, he’ll send you an autographed copy.

Heartland USA (Magazine of the American Outdoor Lifestyle), has an article about the Coast Guard in its “Lifestyles” section. The tagline is, “In the state with the smallest stretch of coastline, the U.S. Coast Guard’s motto — Semper Paratus, “Always Ready” — routinely gets tested in big ways.”

That’s my little brother cruising the (very tiny) coast of New Hampshire! Go Mike!

I’m proud to announce that my sister-in-law is the Seminole County teacher of the week.

My mom just sent me the following text message:

Attempts to contact my mom via her cell phone have failed. Unfortunately even if I could get her on the phone, the only advice I could give her — after over a decade of working in the computer industry — is to maybe try to shake the liquid out and blow-dry it.

When the revolution comes and the computers try to squash humanity out of existence, hopefully some of us will remember their Achilles’ heel: ill-placed cups of coffee.

The “assisted living facility” where my grandmother lived — Indigo Manor in Daytona Beach, Florida — just sent my mom and uncle an automated form letter. It was something along the lines of, “Please tell us how satisfied you are in the care we gave your loved one.” They’re really not very bright over there.

If my mom and uncle are still too upset to do so, I’m going to be the one sending them a reply: “We were completely satisfied … right up until the day you dropped her and broke her femur, then allowed her to spend over 36 hours in agony before telling anyone what had happened. Y’know. Right before she died because of complications from the emergency surgery. Aside from that, though, you were terrific.”

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Anna S. Albanese
10/28/1920 - 05/04/2007

My grandmother passed away died this afternoon. I hate “passed away”. It’s so … passive. Nana was not a passive person. She was incredibly, astoundingly active. She’d been pretty limited for the last few years, but that’s not really how I’ll remember her. When I was in elementary school I used to be very proud that she was the president of the local Italian American Association. She could crochet like a mother#$@*; she was an amazing cook; she was in all sorts of women’s clubs; she had a full-time job for a long, long time after she should have been … I don’t know. She just didn’t “pass away”.

I don’t know why I’m writing this. But I hate the thought of seeing the obituary in the paper when I get to Florida. I remember when my grandfather died I hated the obituary. Hated it. My uncle (or someone) had a bunch of them laminated and made into bookmarks and I just hated the idea that a life could be summarized in two or three column inches like that. So here goes …

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At some point recently I stumbled upon Geni.com, a family-tree site. This is the kind of thing I seriously dig. It makes me sad that I can only go back two or three nodes on my family tree. My oldest nana is 86 and — when I called her a few minutes ago — was having a hard time remembering the names of even her brothers and sisters. Strangely, though, she had no problem naming papa’s aunts and uncles and dozens of other names I never knew.

This is the sort of thing that people kick themselves for not doing earlier in their lives. Pick up the phone and call your grandmother, for the love of God. When’s the last time you talked to her? She’s not on DVD, y’know? When that RAM goes, it’s gone … and you’re not sending it to the Apple store to retrieve it, either.

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So it took me 33+ years, but I have finally started golfing. I am a complete and total idiot for not listening to the dozens of friends that have been trying to convince me to play for the last ten years. It is amazing fun and paralyzingly addictive. I played for the first time in January of this year at my friend Kelly’s 40th birthday party on the Balboa Golf Course in Encino, CA. At the end of January my dad had some business in Vegas and he flew me there for the day to play the Las Vegas Golf Club. I’ve played about 10 or 15 rounds since then and am hooked.

In early June dad had another business trip on my coast and we played a municipal course in Chula Vista, CA, where my grandfather lives. Dad gave me a set of his old clubs while I was there and I bought a slick Nike bag to hold ‘em. The next day we played with Guy Denniston, the president of American West Worldwide Express, at Tijeras Creek in Rancho Santa Margarita. A few days later dad was here in LA and we played the Malibu Country Club with Kelly and Eric Clarke, the president of Four Truckers (photo).

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A package arrived at my apartment today. It was a box of (late) Christmas presents from my little sister. (She’s not known for promptness.) Each item is fabulous and is listed here in order of fabulousness:

1. an egg-laying rubber chicken – one of the most amazing gifts I’ve ever received
2. Danger Mouse Seasons 1 & 2 DVD — The World’s Smallest Secret Agent
3. Adventure Joe Bender — just plain cool
4. Nose Pencil Sharpener — extra cool because I’ve been complaining for months that there are no pencil sharpeners in my office
5. a copy of You’ve Got It Made, Snoopy, by Charles Schulz, 1974 — I love Peanuts.
6. an assortment of Rocky & Bullwinkle stickers
7. a Bert Pez dispenser — I really have no idea why my sister sends me a Pez dispenser for every possible holiday, but she always finds interesting ones.
8. a wee and tiny pack of Bicycle playing cards — very handy!

Congratulations to my little sister, Michelle! She just got accepted to Lesley University! Right in the middle of Harvard Square! How cool is that?

So my little sister Michelle now has her own blog. I can’t stand music playing as soon as I hit a site, although I do actually really like the Postal Service song she’s got on there. I’m finding it incredibly hard to believe that this is my little tiny baby sister …

I visited my mom in Gainesville, FL for the holidays. While I was there I looked through some of the boxes of “stuff” that I’d left when I moved to California. This took some time, because I left tons of “stuff”.

Here’s an example of something I decided to put into the “don’t need to save” pile: A copy of the 1989 Who’s Who in Foreign Languages in Georgia & Florida High Schools, published by the Department of Modern Foreign Languages at Valdosta State College in Valdosta, GA. If you have your own copy and are wondering, I’m listed on page 27 as a member of the Father Lopez High School French Club.

Yeah. Uhm. Don’t really need to save that one …