football

There is a reason that Tebow’s nickname at Florida is The Chosen One. Here’s a terrific example of the man’s character taken from the recent New York Times article, “X’s and O’s: Tebow Studies How They Work”:

He said he was annoyed by NCAA limits on his charity work. He said that he could not play in a golf tournament to raise money for breast cancer earlier this year and that he saw football as a way to spread his faith.

“It’s just smart,” he said of exploring his NFL options. “If you get an opportunity to take care of your family for the rest of your life.”

“But not just that, to start all the ministries I want to do and everything. I mean, that’s something that you’ve definitely got to look at it.”

Do you remember when Robin Williams attempts to teach Nathan Lane how to be a real man in The Birdcage? It’s one of my favorite scenes in one of my favorite movies. Williams asks,

How do you feel about that call today? I mean the Dolphins! Fourth-and-three play on their 30 yard line with only 34 seconds to go!

Today it was the Gators and fourth and one with a little under a minute to go. Either way it’s the same. I just can’t believe it. Again. How does the Heisman trophy winner fail to get a single yard? You really can’t blame Tebow, though. That game was lost on the sidelines.

It was another brutal early season weekend in college football. (Didn’t this happen last year, too?) Yes, seven of the AP top twenty-five teams lost, but that doesn’t make it any easier if you happened to be on the losing side.

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Yesterday morning on ESPNRadio’s Tirico & Van Pelt Show, Mike Tirico asked if the NFL was in jeopardy because of the season-ending knee injury suffered by Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. Scott Van Pelt — rightfully, in my opinion — argued that the NFL is going to be fine. Tirico countered by asking if Tiger Woods’ injury is hurting the game of golf right now. I don’t remember Van Pelt’s response, because somehow they got off on a tangent about how Scott doesn’t like Oreos. (Who doesn’t like Oreos?!) I really don’t see the comparison, though.

Tiger Woods is without any question the best golfer in the world. He is arguably the best golfer ever. Brady is a great quarterback and is surely an integral part of the Patriots gameplan. But he’s not the best player in the NFL. Brady is not even the best quarterback in the NFL. (I hate to say it, because he went to the hated University of Tennessee, but Peyton Manning currently holds that title.) Yes, it really stinks for millions of fantasy football players who have Brady on their starting lineups, and it is certainly going to have a tremendous impact on the ratings, but the NFL is a team sport.

And, assuming you agree with the last line of this brilliant news item, Tom Brady is doing just fine.

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Mac users: You can use this link to subscribe to the Florida Gators 2008 Football iCal Schedule, published by Yahoo!.

Right now I am sitting in my suite at the Camelback Marriott in Scottsdale, Arizona, just a little more than a day away from getting to see my Patriots in Super Bowl XLII. The story of how I got here is incredible on many levels, and even attempting to do it justice in a blog post is ridiculous. What I can tell you is this: I owe it all to a man I will never see again. In the six or nine months that I knew him, he somehow managed to become one of my ultimate best “best friends”. I have never known anyone like him, and I find it impossible to believe there will ever be anyone else like him in my life. He was an amazing force of nature, a man that I consider myself truly blessed to have gotten to know.
Bill Gross died on Sunday, October 21^st, 2007, as I was packing the rental car in Hawaii getting ready to return from my honeymoon. He was my business partner, my boss, my mentor, my walk-to-Starbucks companion, my confidant, my guardian angel, my benefactor, my hero, and my best friend. I am still in shock and I am still in pain and I miss him and I cannot fathom how I can be going to this game without him. I know that he is rooting for the Giants just to piss me off, just as much as I know that inside he is pulling for the Patriots because he knows they are my favorite. I would trade anything to get to hear him make fun of me again.

Last season, the Colts won the Lombardi in part by establishing a pass-wacky attack that defensive coordinators were obsessed with stopping, then gradually shifting toward the run in the postseason, then rolling out a rushing-based game plan in the Super Bowl that took everyone by surprise. … Belichick is among the best-ever students of the sport, so don’t be surprised if he remembers and attempts the same switcheroo. Of course at this point, don’t be surprised if Belichick suddenly rips off his prosthetic human face and reveals himself as a hideous reptilian space alien come to spearhead an invasion fleet.

So apparently there’s a whole series of these parodies, but I think “Hitler: Bloodthirsty Dictator, Die-hard Cowboys Fan” is the best. Sure, it’s no Planet Unicorn, but it’s definitely the funniest YouTubery I’ve seen this year.
<hat tip to Andy>

A man walks into a bar with a cat in his arms and asks the bartender if the cat can stay. Grudgingly, the bartender agrees to let the cat sit on a bar stool, and he then turns on the 49ers game.

When the 49ers kick a field goal, the cat just goes wild, jumping up and own on the stool, then going the length of the bar and high-fiving customers.

The bartender is amazed. “If he does that for a field goal, how does he act when the Niners score a touchdown?”

“I don’t know,” said his owner. “I’ve only had him three years.”

Tuesday Morning Quarterback scores again with 2010: The Mock Draft.

Last night’s Saturday Night Live with Peyton Manning and Carrie Underwood was excellent. I am so happy that the show is in something of a revival right now. It’s a long-overdue, glorious return to funny. The last dozen or so SNLs have had me in stitches on more than one occasion. The digital shorts and the fake commercials are superb, the guest hosts are good again, and even the news is smart and witty. I miss Tina Fey, but whatshisface and Amy Poehler are doing a great job. I am kind of tired of so many recurring sketches, but I can live with it. I’m just glad that it’s finally stopped playing second-fiddle to The Daily Show and Best Week Ever. Those two shows are usually side-splitting and I had been more than a little bit sad that NBC’s classic favorite, the show I’ve watched since I was ten or twelve, had fallen into irrelevance. Now it’s back to being a standard and it’s worth watching.

Last night I finished reading Next Man Up: A Year Behind the Lines in Today’s NFL, by John Feinstein. It took me well over a month to get through this 400+ page epic covering the 2004 Baltimore Ravens season. Regardless of how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get into it. I am a huge football fan, so that should tell you something. I very much enjoyed Feinstein’s 1996 football work, the incredibly long-titled A Civil War: Army Vs. Navy : A Year Inside College Football’s Purest Rivalry, so that should tell you something as well.

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Genarlow Wilson, honor student and football star, had consensual sex with a fellow teenager. What happened to him next was a crime.

When he was a senior in high school, he received oral sex from a 10th grader. He was 17. She was 15. Everyone, including the girl and the prosecution, agreed she initiated the act. But because of an archaic Georgia law, it was a misdemeanor for teenagers less than three years apart to have sexual intercourse, but a felony for the same kids to have oral sex.

Now he’s sitting in prison. He got ten years. Been there for two. And there’s not much anyone can do about it, although some are trying.

This is one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do lately, but I feel I have no choice. As of today I am officially removing myself from consideration for the head coaching job in Dallas. As much as I love and respect the Cowboys organization, my life right now is simply too complicated for me to accept the responsibility. I wish Jerry Jones, et.al. the best of luck and I am sure someone else — someone with more experience and a much better coaching pedigree — will soon be interviewed for the job, and I don’t want to make things any harder on the team.

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How cool is the World Wide Web™? Within 24 hours of the game I was able to use μtorrent to download the entire 2006 BCS Championship Game and watch it using the latest DivX player. The 2.2GB file took about 20 hours to download, but it’s worth it. I’m considering using the office projector to play the game on the wall behind me on a constant loop.

(While you’re waiting for the massive download, take a look at this awesome video of suffering OSU fans at the game, set to the tune of Beck’s “Loser“. It’s very evil and completely bad karma, but still great.)