life

One of my wife’s friends died a few weeks ago. He was only 41, a manager in the music industry, and he had battled cancer for a long time. His wife held a memorial service — a Catholic mass — on Saturday night, and hundreds of people attended. The mass was held at a smallish Church in Westwood, just a few blocks from our house. It was in all respects a traditional Catholic mass, with one notable exception: Instead of a choir, the Polyphonic Spree performed all the music. Before the service started they played John Lennon’s Imagine, and, after the eulogies at the end, they played a few more songs, including their hit, Light & Day. It was incredibly moving.

I’m two weeks behind in posting my Blogger Insider questions and answers. I suppose I owe apologies to Jaz and Mike.

So, without further ado … Here are the questions Mike asked me and my answers:
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This article, The Images That Won’t Let Us Go, is painfully true. The Challenger explosion seems like nothing to me now. This is just so much. You don’t even need to say it. Everyone knows. Everyone in the country, in the world probably … You can just say, “Did you know anyone there?” Or, “Have you heard anything else?” You don’t have to say, “the World Trade Center,” or, “the Pentagon.” What else could you mean? Is there anything else? Did anything else happen this week?

While I was riding around Boston with my dad the week before last, we started talking about one of my favorite Hemingway lines:

“The war seemed as far away as the football games of some one else’s college,”

(from A Farewell to Arms).
At WorldNewYork I just read:

“I tried to read this morning’s newspaper this afternoon, but the pre-bombing news seemed irrelevant, like news from twenty years ago.”

This Sunday seems like it’s happening to someone else. It feels as if I am not who I was last week. Has the world changed? Have I? Who is this person that I am now? It’s very odd. Last Monday there was so much … I don’t know … So much stuff that seemed so important then just really, honestly doesn’t seem to matter. It sounds hokey … cheese … but it’s true.

So what’s shakin’ in your neck of the woods? Apparently the San Andreas decided to wait exactly one year to welcome me to California.

On the way to work this morning I was delayed by a “SIG Alert” on the 101. I don’t know what a “SIG Alert” is exactly, but I know that there was an accident. A multiple-car accident that blocked three lanes of traffic and made me almost an hour late to the office. There were injuries, but I don’t know details. It wouldn’t surprise me at all to hear that someone was killed.
On NPR there was a story about a water-shortage in some third-world country - I don’t even remember which one - and how people are starving to death there. I read today (on line) about some teenagers killed in Ireland, and another shark attack. Several Iraqi soldiers were killed when the chemical weapons they were developing exploded.
There is a homeless man that plays his harmonica for change on the corner of my exit. I pass him almost every morning while I’m talking on my cell phone and driving my shiny red pick-’em-up truck.

Three hundred sixty-five days ago today I left Tampa, Florida and began the drive that would take me to Los Angeles, California.

So much has happened in that time, and so much hasn’t happened, that I am amazed that I ever look at my life and worry about what it is.

It is a life.

And it is pretty good.

I surprised myself and actually accomplished quite a bit tonight. Gears are spinning. Wheels are in motion. Things are happening. What will tomorrow bring?

… wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door … who is it for?

I don’t know about it being a meme, Ernie, but compare this to this to this.
Sucks, no?
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Sometime in the middle of Saturday afternoon I realized that I had somehow managed to completely miss my ten year high school reunion.
Shocking.
I know I wasn’t the president of the senior class or anything, but I was some sort of officer. Vice President? Secretary? Something. I know I wasn’t the Treasurer - I would remember having to deal with money.
What bugs me is that I wasn’t even invited! Was I impossible to find? I can’t imagine that. I mean, I don’t want to hit anyone over the head with the obvious stick or anything, but … davidgagne.net? I find it very hard - although not impossible - to believe that I was the one responsible for organizing a reunion. Did the graduating class of 1991 just … y’know … skip it? Am I the only one that wasn’t invited? Hmmm …

breathing deeply, walking backwards - blink 182, Roller Coaster

It scares me, walking backwards. When I was a little boy I used to walk with my eyes closed all the time. I would press my back against a wall and stretch my arms and close my eyes and creep along, always excited to find a new room or a door or a light-switch … I never do that now.
My mom was vacuuming once. My little sister was two, I think. So I must have been four. Mom is vacuuming and getting ready to boil some water, probably to make spaghetti. Jenny (my little sister) is just tall enough to reach over the edge of the stove and put her tiny hand on the burner. She starts screaming in pain, of course. My mom, vacuuming, doesn’t notice that I’m walking along the wall with my eyes closed. As I fall down the stairs to the basement - KlunK - tHUnk - she closes the door on me while she’s rushing into the kitchen.
Picture me, coming to the open spot in the wall, realizing that I’m about to fall down the stairs, yelling as I am three or four steps falling backwards - eyes open now! - and seeing my mom slam the door on me while she’s yelling at my screaming sister and the vacuum is … er … vacuuming. There are some things that you never forget.
I was unharmed in the fall. Jenny’s hand wasn’t badly burned. My mom felt terrible. I hardly ever walk with my eyes closed now.

I was lucky enough to catch John Williams conducting the Los Angeles Philharmonic this weekend at the Hollywood Bowl for John Williams’ Movie Memories. The set list on the site isn’t complete, though. Yes, they performed all the pieces listed - an amazing collection of music - but it was the encores that were truly incredible. When the show was “over” he returned for the main theme from Star Wars, then for Raiders of the Lost Ark, and finally to do the NBC Nightly News theme. I’m not ashamed to say that there were tears in my eyes for most of the night. This man has created some of the most recognizable, emotional, captivating musical pieces in history. From E.T. to Superman, from Close Encounters of the Third Kind to Jaws … To hear the cheers when the familiar fanfare to A New Hope shook the night, to see the dozens of people waving mock lightsabers in the audience, to feel the music … It was extraordinary.

A few days ago I was showing someone my Visor and the woman saw deadman in my contacts and said, “Deadman? you know someone named deadman?”
I laughed and said, “Yeah. He’s a cool guy. He’s a friend of mine.”
It was a strange moment. And in that instant I thought about how many people I’ve met through my blog and how many people I’ve never met ‘in person’ but that I consider ‘friends’. He and I hardly ever eMail, and since I’ve lost ICQ at work I hardly IM anyone … but it was great to read this post. It was great to say, “Yeah. He’s a cool guy. He’s a friend of mine.”

A lot has changed since last year. I remember talking to my dad about a year ago. He was telling me that he thought sometimes God just likes to pull the rug out from under you. You’re walking along, living your life, thinking you finally have a clue … thinking that you know something … thinking that things are starting to make sense … and then, WHAM! You wake up and you’re alone in your head and you realize that you don’t know anything and nothing makes sense and you don’t have a clue and you have no idea what’s happening and suddenly everything is completely different. I think that, too. It seems like every year on my birthday (or nearabouts) I stop for a second and recognize that I know nothing.

“It is the greatest mistake to think that man is always one and the same. A man is never the same for long. He is continually changing. He seldom remains the same even for half an hour.” - Gurdjieff (1873-1949)

“Observe constantly that all things take place by change, and accustom thyself to consider that the nature of the Universe loves nothing so much as to change the things which are, and to make new things like them.” - Marcus Aurelius (121-180 A.D.)

This is a list of all the concerts I have seen as of June 2001.
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