Few things in life irk me as much as getting duped. Caveat emptor: Because Ralph’s refuses to provide meaningful unit price labels — and because the box is exactly the same size and shape as the other forty-two varieties of their microwave popcorn — you might be fooled into thinking that the “sale” price of Orville Redenbacher’s Organic Butter flavor is a bargain. Look closely, though. This package only contains two bags of popcorn. What’s worse is that (a) this variety tastes like crap compared to the “regular” butter flavor and (2) it has a very low “popping yield”. Damn you, Orville!
Posts tagged as:
popcorn
Orville Redenbacher’s Organic Scam
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Popcorn Fork
The Popcorn Fork™ will be the 4th commonly used eating utensil in the home (especially when the dishwasher hasn’t been emptied.)
Now you, too, can say good-bye to greasy fingers and paper napkins. With new finger foods coming to market almost daily, the least I can do is help clean up this delicious mess!
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Dr. Twitchell
So yesterday, while I was reading this, I ate an entire bag of microwave popcorn. No, I’m not a slow reader, you dork. I am an extremely fast popcorn-eater. I in-freakin’-hale the stuff. I love popcorn. Then when we went to see X-Men I consumed a Large bag during the previews. So by like nine o’clock I had, literally, two farging pounds of popcorn in my intestines. That cannot possibly be good for a person. Once in college Dr. Twitchell - A genius. Go buy his books at Amazon.Com. - had us write a paper on vampires in late 19th century literature (or something like that) and I handed in a three-page essay on the history of popcorn. If I remember correctly, he called me an asshole - I think he actually wrote that on my essay - but still gave me an A.
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Movies and Coke
The only thing I really hate about going to the movies, besides paying $4 for $.13 worth of popcorn, is that I cannot resist buying a Coke, too. And then I am wired. For hours. I should never drink soda after like 7 pm. It is 3 something and I am wide awake. Got in a great little conversation with someone about the pros and cons of blogging my life away. Yeah. So. Okay. I’m going to bed now. Really. <Smooch> to anyone reading this. Good night you silly fools.
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