A few weeks ago I wrote about how annoying it is to get an “affirmation cookie” instead of one with an actual fortune. Well at lunch today one of my co-workers got what we thought was a horribly rude fortune cookie. Instead of the usual mindless drivel, instead of even a useless affirmation, the “directive” cookie he received at California Wok read, “Work on improving your exercise routine.” Ouch.
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Rude Fortune
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Good Fortune
For a long time now my friends and I have been complaining about “affirmation cookies”. Fortune cookies just aren’t as cool as they used to be. It seems like all the fortunes we get now have messages that aren’t … well … fortunes. Instead they say things like, “You are a kind person,” or, “People respect you.” Don’t give me that crap. Tell me not to get on the 405 on my way home, or that I’m going to have an adventure this weekend, or even to beware the bald man.
Yesterday I got my first fortune fortune cookie in years. It read:
You will never need to worry about a steady income.
That’s certainly nice to hear. Of course … it could mean that I’m about to get a life sentence for a crime I didn’t commit, or get hit by a bus. But I’ll try to be optimistic about it.
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Page2
The ESPN.com - Page2 Fearless Forecast for College Football in 2001 predicts that the strangest sight of the season will be seeing Florida play Miami in the Rose Bowl for the national title. That’s good to hear, because Page 2 also predicts that New York will come from 14 games back to steal the AL East from the Red Sox.
Damn I hate the Yankees.
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