satire

Friends Recall Gist of Cliffs Notes Founder
Netizen Fears Hackers Will Steal His VISA Card No. 8099 0788 341 9800 EXP. 12/01
Survey: Majority of Web Users Are FBI Agents Posing as Teenage Girls

I really try to stay on the clean side here at davidgagne.net. After all, my mom reads this page, y’know? (Hi, mom!)
Where was I? Oh, yes. The Erotic Journal of Martha Stewart is one of those places on the internet that you have to visit.

Lunch: Bologna sandwich
A Day In The Life of Martha Stewart is fun reading if you aren’t afraid of her. I found the “article” in a parody eZine called Happy Woman, which has some terrific articles, like: Repair Your own Transmission and make 3 1/2 dozen Maple Butter Cookies, Funeral Etiquette Do’s & Don’ts, and Drunk to Hunk in Three Easy Steps.

Foot-and-Mouth Believed to Be First Virus Unable to Spread through Microsoft Outlook!
“Researchers Shocked to Finally Find Virus That Email App Doesn’t Like”

Did I mention I was experimenting with heroin?

Boston Accents, and Why They’re Sexy

“Women are drawn to young and developing children because they appeal to our maternal instincts. Boston accents mimic a child’s speech and thus also appeal to our maternal instincts. Therefore, women find Boston accents to be cute. Consequently, a male who has a Boston accent is sub-consciously associated with a child, and women will thus have a greater affinity for him.”

This is one of several fascinating essays at Senseless Theories on Inane Topics. Others include:

• Why Nomar Garciaparra is the Best Player in the History of Baseball
• Saurkraut, and its Implications on our National Identity, and
• Nickels, and Why They Suck

Have a conversation with a horny therapist!

From the Britney Spears Guide to Semiconductor Physics:

It is a little known fact, that Ms Spears is an expert in semiconductor physics. Not content with just singing, in the following pages, she will guide you in the fundamentals of the vital laser components that have made it possible to hear her super music in a digital format.

If you’re not reading the miniwetlog, you’re missing links like: Area Man Experimenting With Homosexuality For Past Eight Years.

Two from The Onion:

• This Week’s Horoscopes
• Major secrets revealed: The Beatles Anthology

Jabber:Packetszzzzz … is a parody of a site that doesn’t get updated often enough.

Check it out! The OBloggies!
Special thanks to Dan for the splendid idea and logo!

This is not your father’s version of The Matrix.

Cell Phone Industry Group Launches Public Service Campaign

Car Phone Safety: Scream “AAHH!” Before Impact