SEO

Simply incredible: If you do a Google search for You Never Give Me Your Money - without even putting it in quotes! - the number one result is a page right here at DavidGagne.Net™! I wonder if Paul is upset about that … One of these days, Mr. Google, I’m going to learn what it is that makes you tick.

I’m also the #1 result if you search for Bathroom Master, which is slightly annoying.

Sweet blueberry turnovers! All of a sudden I’m getting thousands - yes, thousands! - of hits from the Kansas State Fan Message Boards. I cannot imagine why. I can’t find any link to me there either. So. If you’re a Kansas State fan, please explain.

The Sacramento Bee Story Toolbar
“With browser and internet technologies advancing, Web sites are becoming more like applications. Taking this into account, sacbee.com has developed the Story Toolbar. The idea was to combine several different functions into one compact area that is unobtrusive and easy for users to access.” (Comments: Take a look at this story to see the toolbar in action.)

From the Spam from Places with Incredibly Long Domain Names Dept.:

www.searchengineplacementexperts.com!

I’m happy to report that five separate individuals searching the web found my web site using the search phrase “Tennessee football sucks“.

Most of the people that visit my website come here because they know me. Usually it’s a friend or family member who has discovered my little corner of the internet, but sometimes a complete stranger will click on a link to me from somewhere else and start reading. Often someone will go to a search engine (Yahoo!, google, AltaVista, etc.) and my page will appear as a possible resource for the information the person wants to find. Sometimes people find my page by searching on things I have never mentioned or by some crazy word combination on my site. These are disturbing search requests. I can find these by reading my referral logs to see where a person was before visiting me. So. Here are some of the stranger things people have visited me to find.
[This page was inspired by Disturbing Search Requests].
[click to continue...]

I added a few new items to my collection of personal disturbing search requests. I guess I can understand why Yahoo! or Google! would send searchers to davidgagne.net for dave gagne custom ice. That makes sense. I’m sure I must have used the words custom and ice at some point in the last two years. But how can i improve the sizes of my balls? And i have spilled milk in my car how can i get rid of smell? Why would anyone - even a web-crawling computer - think that I would have answers to those questions?

People keep searching this site for the word frog.
I don’t know why.
If you come here looking for frogs, please leave a note and tell me what you hoped to find.
My mind wobbles.

MIT’s Media lab is experimenting with a new tool that tracks the links that are posted in online weblogs/diaries. If successful, Blogdex could provide a very valuable resource for the average information seeker as Blogs are flat out where it’s at.

Really. Because I just can’t help myself. Here are a few more search strings that have led people to my site:

• shaved my head
• mousepad x rated sex
• earnest hemingway’s novels
• the old man and the sea santiago christ
• descartes response to dreaming argument
• the swamp and big two hearted river
• emotocons
• the snows of kilimanjaro text
• itchetuknee spring
• essay on old man and the sea
• www.chocolatemen.com
• ocean spells
• symbolism of santiago in old man and the sea
• into the pool jpg party clothes
• hemingway and christian symbolism
• fluffer girls

My blog was / is named bling. It just popped into my head one day about a year or so ago. It’s short for “rambling”. It’s also the route by which most of my visitors seem to find me. Why all these lost souls are searching the internet for “bling” escapes me. Why so many seem to be searching for “bling bling” escapes me even more (Is that possible? Why do we instinctively put English muffins in the toaster with the insides facing each other? Is there any logic to that? Is the inside of the toaster hotter than the outside and the inside of the muffin is what we wanted toasted more? Have you ever put the muffin in the toaster with the insides facing out? Have you?). I wonder if they are finding the bling for which they search here. I find that hard to imagine.

Forthwith: My personal version of Disturbing Search Requests; here are the things that (some apparently lost and confused) people have typed into Google or Yahoo! or AltaVista in order to discover my page:
bling bling, oceanblog, www.bling bling.com, ocean clipart, the snows of kilimanjaro, fat man’s penis, titus andronicus essays, video net girls, gatsby and automobile, ocean homeostasis, the snows of kilimanjaro by hemingway, the old man and the sea and joe dimaggio, hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy satire essay, immortality of the soul by plato, lifegaurd shorts, nurse flirt pics, bike shorts and fuck and jpg, maggie: a girl of the streets theme, for whom the bell tolls relationships, old man and the sea essay

Disturbing Search Requests is quickly becoming my #1 favorite site on the ‘net. It took me a year, but I finally added search capabilities and a counter to this site. In addition to the person looking for a “free superfrog download”, people have also found davidgagne.net by searching on: “days of thunder” female, “toothless” “fetish”, and daytona coroner pictures.

Okay. So it’s not freaky enough to submit it to Disturbing Search Requests, but I certainly can’t imagine why a) someone would be looking for “free superfrog download” or 2) why Yahoo! would think to send that person here to find it …

Nintendo still apparently believed that “Pokemon” in Crackerjap’s meta tag was so harmful to its business that it had to threaten legal action. Why? Because for some reason, Nintendo thought that Crackerjap.com was a porn site.