Star Wars

Chewbacca Assaults Marilyn At Kodak Theater

I saw the 8:30pm showing at the AMC 14 in the Century City mall. I somehow managed to avoid seeing even one preview during the last three or four months. It was good. It was beyond good. It was nothing like Episode I or Episode II, and it was everything like Episodes IV, V, and VI. You will not be disappointed.

Grab the new Song of the Moment!

I suppose $499.99 is a bit too much to pay for a toy at my age … even if it would be the absolute coolest toy in the history of all time … even if it would be a toy I dreamt of owning for the better part of the first half (fifteen years) of my life … even if it would be something that would, perhaps, escalate me to Level III.

What is sad is that it is a toy that I could probably never explain to my (potential) children. It’s a toy that even now is likely only understood by an ever-shrinking number of still-awestruck twenty-five to forty-one year olds. It’s so, so difficult to explain a revolution to those either too young to have known the world before it or too unlike you to care.

Here are two just absolutely brilliant quotes from the recent Wired Magazine interviews with George Lucas:

“With film, if you get a million people to see your movie on the first weekend, you’ve made about $5 million. That basically will not end up on the top-10 chart,” he told me. “You have to get 10 million people on the first weekend. And if you don’t do it in two days, you’re basically out of the theaters and into the DVD market. There’s just an ecology there. If you’re a mouse, don’t expect to kill a lion, because it ain’t gonna happen. If you want to have that kind of power, it’s better to be a lion, because the mice are fine - you can have a life and everything - but the lions are the ones out there prowling and scaring the hell out of everybody.”

“If you’ve raised children, you know you have to explain things to them, and if you don’t, they end up learning the hard way. In the end, somebody’s got to say, “Don’t touch that hot skillet.” So the old stories have to be reiterated again in a form that’s acceptable to each new generation. I don’t think I’m ever going to go much beyond the old stories, because I think they still need to be told.”

Okay. This is just ridiculous. The Starship Captain Smackdown is an awesome display of a spreadsheet on an HTML page, and ranking starship commanders is a noble goal. But you’ve got Solo ranked below the new Adama? Please. Even the old Adama was cooler than the new Adama. And sure, Galactica is the Samuel L. Jackson of spaceships … but voting anything even on par with the Falcon is just plain blasphemy.

I don’t want my children to grow up thinking that Greedo shot first.

via re-run

from McSweeney’s: On the Implausibility of the Death Star’s Trash Compactor

StarDestroyer.Net: This classic Star Wars site includes the Empire’s recruitment propaganda page and the highly informative “turbolaser commentaries”.

The majestic Tatooine Womp Rat is in serious danger of extinction, which is why Boba Fett and other Bounty Hunters have formed the Save the Womp Rat society. Won’t you please join the Save the Tatooine Womp Rat Campaign?

On the same day media outlets reported that a group of researchers planned to clone up to 200 humans, filmmaker George Lucas revealed the title of his upcoming fifth film in the highly popular Star Wars series: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones.”

“Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.”
If 8,000 New Zealanders have heeded an e-mail asking them to declare Jedi as their faith on this week’s census forms, then Star Wars will have spawned an officially recognized religion.

This document does not advocate or condone the extinction or betrayal of ewoks, it merely reports upon a physical situation and the acts involved. Uhm. Yeah.

Somewhere … someone had to do it eventually I guess. Zannah found a re-enactment of the entire Star Wars trilogy done with LEGOs!

Vader For 2000 <now a dead link>