television

So I’m going to be on national television again. I’ll be on Wednesday’s episode of The Other Half. My girlfriend and I are in a local production of Jesus Christ Superstar and one of the cast members got us on the show. There is going to be a “tickle expert” there to teach us how to - I assume - tickle one another. The producers told us that our feet would be seen, so we went and got pedicures yesterday. My toenails are now a lovely shade of blue. I have been told that my feet are “fugly” so hopefully the blue will distract viewers.

After that we went to a cool restaurant - Gordon Biersch - in Burbank. We ran into my girlfriend’s best friend’s little sister there, which was pretty random. I had an excellent New York strip with surprisingly good garlic french fries. (I’m pretty sure our waiter was high.)

Looking for real people to use your general Pop Culture knowledge to be on new ABC game show “The Chair”.
This innovative new series offers the ultimate test in self-control. We’ll attach a player to a heart rate monitor and ask him/her general interest questions. If he/she can answer correctly without his/her base heart rate exceeding a pre-determined range, he/she will have the possibility to win $250,00.00 game. If he loses his cool and his heart races, his winnings slowly disappear. His/Her time in the chair will end when he answers a question incorrectly, or he blows his winnings.
Call IMMEDIATELY for quick phone interview 323.960.4681. Casting January 2-8, 2002.

How’s this for annoying? When I returned from San Diego I realized that the cable company had rearranged all the channels. ESPN2 moved from 68 to 32. The TV Guide channel (previously 44 and the most-useful of all stations) is missing. And I can’t find Animal Planet (used to be 59) anywhere. Crikey! I don’t know what’s going to happen if I can’t find the Crocodile Hunter.

I absolutely adore that they call the show “Monday Night Football” even when it’s airing on a Saturday night.

<singing>
It’s the most
wonderful time
of the year …
</singing>

Boss of Me - They Might Be Giants
Theme Song from Malcolm in the Middle

The Gamecocks face the Gators in what might be the biggest game in school history. If South Carolina wins and Florida beats Tennessee on Dec. 1, the Gamecocks will become the first team other than the Gators or Volunteers to win the SEC East Championship.

ESPN announced on Monday that it will nationally televise Florida’s game at South Carolina on Saturday, November 10th. Kickoff has been moved to 7:45 pm ET
This is the third time this season that Florida has appeared on a national ESPN telecast (ESPN2 vs. Marshall and ESPN vs. Auburn) and the sixth time in nine games this season that the Gators have appeared on a national telecast. With this announcement, every Florida game this season, except for the UL-Monroe game on Sept. 8, will be a network telecast. CBS Sports has already announced that the Nov. 17th game vs. Florida State (8:00 pm ET) in Gainesville and the Dec. 1st contest vs. Tennessee (4:30 pm ET) in Gainesville will appear on national television.

I am heartbroken to learn that I missed the rebroadcast of TNT’s Come Together: A Night For John Lennon’s Words & Music. I was out Tuesday night and forgot to tape it and last night I didn’t even know it was being shown. Now the details at TNT say that it won’t air again any time in the next three months. Crap! I really wanted to see it. My uncle said that Stone Temple Pilots did an awesome acoustic version of Revolution, and I read somewhere that Dave Matthews was perfect. I’m hoping they release a CD of the event. They’d be crazy to not, right? If anyone finds any mp3s from the show, please let me know.

Aside: The TNT site is the best of the major network sites I’ve seen. The little schedule window in the upper-right hand corner is perfect. Funny Farm will air at 5 am tomorrow!

Y‘know what? I really love ESPN. There was an excellent essay in Sports Illustrated a few weeks ago about how ESPN is in danger of MTV-izing itself: showing ‘television shows’ tangentially about sports instead of showing what everyone wants to see - games and scores. The article made a good point.

As soon as MTV stopped showing videos, I stopped watching. I was a bit wary when The 2 Minute Drill started. I don’t want my ESPN turning into a channel that’s only kinda about sports. I don’t want to have to watch the deuce or ESPNNews or any other ESPN channel (or, God forbid, FOX Sports) if I want to see a Boise State v. Mid-America Tech volleyball game at 3 am. I want those completely irrelevant competitions on ESPN right between Sportscenters. I do like ‘the bottom line’ and I do enjoy one or two of the things that are on ESPN that aren’t games or Sportscenter - The Sports Reporters for example. But please. I don’t want to watch a game show or a mini-series or movie or whatever on my sports channel. I don’t think anyone else does either.

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Has anyone caught the infomercial for Kurt Woodruff’s The Secret of Making Money on the Internet?
No, I have no idea who “Kurt Woodruff” is either.
With the notable exception of Planet of the Apes, I think the worst writing in the entertainment industry these days is being done by infomercial writers. Do they have their own guild? That would make sense. If you can’t get into the Writer’s Guild, you join the Infomercial Writer’s Guild!

Last night at eleven I caught the first episode of Hard Knocks on HBO. Now this is a reality tv show that a guy can love. I’m not a fan of the Ravens at all, but it was fascinating to watch an NFL team prepare for the beginning of training camp. (Tony Siragusa was deliciously funny as the veteran-who-hates-rookies and will no doubt be the best part of the show.)

Florida still leads the pack in the National Champs.Net Top 25 Preseason College Football Poll …
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Yes! This snip from NextDraft makes me very happy:

Missouri has filed lawsuits against the psychic Miss Cleo (if you have ever watched television, you know her) charging her with consumer fraud. According to the state’s attorney general: ‘Miss Cleo should have seen this coming. It doesn’t take a crystal ball to realize that ripping off consumers isn’t without consequences.’

“Without passing judgment on anybody else,” Dan Rather said in an interview, “I’ve tried to stand for what I believe in - decent, responsible journalism.”