In keeping with Obama’s new “Era of Responsibility”, I’m going to start a new recurring feature here at davidgagne.net. I was thinking of naming it “Assholes Who Refuse to Pay Attention to Traffic Signs”, but I think instead I’ll just go with the name of the intersection. Since I am forced to take the same route to work every day, and since I am almost always stuck with plenty of time on my hands to snap an iPhone photo, I’ve decided to start publishing this feature.
If you’re traveling north on Cotner Avenue in Los Angeles and you get to the Santa Monica intersection, you will find yourself merging alongside people from the left who are exiting the 405N onto Santa Monica. At this point all of you have five — five! choices:
- You can make a left turn onto westbound Santa Monica.
- You can make a left turn onto westbound Santa Monica or merge onto the 405N.
- You can go directly to the 405N.
- You can make a right turn onto eastbound Santa Monica or continue north on Cotner.
- You can make a right turn onto eastbound Santa Monica.
Technically that’s really seven choices. It sounds complicated, but it’s really not. (Click the photo for a better view.) The vast majority of people arriving at this intersection are the ones who have just exited the 405N. These people all want to turn left or right onto Santa Monica. There are very, very few people who want to go straight onto the 405N from here. (The only ones that do are the ones who are approaching from northbound Cotner or who have, I assume, inexplicably accidentally just exited the 405N and now want to get back on the highway.)
I am one of the unlucky people who needs to go directly from northbound Cotner to the 405N. I say “unlucky” because — unless I am fortuitous enough to be the only person stopped at the light, which is rare in a city of 14 million people — there is always some asshole who is sitting in the “Option 3: Straight Only” lane but wants to continue north on Cotner (Option 4) instead. This person will invariably not be able to do this because there is always a wait to get to the other side of Santa Monica. So this asshole will inch forward at a snail’s pace attempting to move into the lane on the right, usually forcing anyone following to miss the traffic light.
Today that asshole was a middle-aged African-American woman, driving what I think was a cherry red Dodge Charger, California license plate 5TKX955. Congratulations, ma’am. You are the inaugural jerk.
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