“I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best. We called him Uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he’d eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear.” — from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

100 Movies, 100 Quotes, 100 Numbers — This is a really, really terrific example of YouTubery.

I think I’m going to have to add some of these to my email sig. Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam! Because, you know, interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europe vincendarum.

File this under “Things I Can’t Remember How I Learned but Have Often Been Handy to Know”:

Bananas like the weather
At the tropical equator
So never ever put one
In the refrigerator.

explorant adversa viros — “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

Literally it means, “misfortunes put men to the test.”

from Veni, Vidi, Vici: Conquer Your Enemies, Impress Your Friends with Everyday Latin, by Eugene Ehlrich

Best thing I’ve read that someone else blogged because they read it in another blog’s comments in a long time:

“Call me enlightened but I don’t care what a woman looks like as long as she has big boobs and owns a liquor store.“

I forgot that the reason you get “paid” to do “jobs” is because it’s not something you’d leap up out of bed in the morning raring to do, without the carrot of filthy lucre leading you on … “Real work” for me is something you just do as a consequence of being who you are and doing what you do, towards something you believe in — with money as mere byproduct … Someone told me this anecdote recently: You ask two workers laying bricks what they’re doing — they’re both doing the same thing — and one guy says “I’m laying bricks” while the other guy says “I’m building a cathedral.”

from Caterina

“You will hardly find one among the profounder sort of scientific minds without a religious feeling of his own.” - Albert Einstein

“Ten years ago I might not be sitting here today.” - from a commercial for America’s Pharmaceutical Companies

“They that go down to the Sea in Ships, that do business in great waters, these see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep.” - Psalm 107

How sour sweet music is
When time is broke and no proportion kept!
So is it in the music of men’s lives.

I wasted time, and now doth time waste me
For now hath time made me his numbering clock;
My thoughts are minutes.

William Shakespeare - Richard III

"When I’m playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales." - Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi

“The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.”

“Life does not cease to be funny when people die; any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”

- George Bernard Shaw

This is an adaptation of an entry originally posted 2001-05-01 09:16:26. I just happened to see it in my archives and couldn’t resist posting it again.

“I had once believed that we were all masters of our fate - that we could mould our lives into any form we pleased … I had overcome deafness and blindness sufficiently to be happy, and I supposed that anyone could come out victorious if he threw himself valiantly into life’s struggle. But as I went more and more about the country I learned that I had spoken with assurance on a subject I knew little about. I forgot that I owed my success partly to the advantages of my birth and environment … Now, however, I learned that the power to rise in the world is not within the reach of everyone.”
- from Midstream: My Later Life, by Helen Keller

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“Some people are born on third base and think they hit a triple.”