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Boston Accents, and Why They’re Sexy

“Women are drawn to young and developing children because they appeal to our maternal instincts. Boston accents mimic a child’s speech and thus also appeal to our maternal instincts. Therefore, women find Boston accents to be cute. Consequently, a male who has a Boston accent is sub-consciously associated with a child, and women will thus have a greater affinity for him.”

This is one of several fascinating essays at Senseless Theories on Inane Topics. Others include:

• Why Nomar Garciaparra is the Best Player in the History of Baseball
• Saurkraut, and its Implications on our National Identity, and
• Nickels, and Why They Suck