davidgagne.net

There are several places on the ‘net where you can find lists of Practical Hints for World Domination. These are always handy and I don’t understand why people – especially evil villains – don’t study them frequently. Here are a few of the rather important ones:

7. When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I’ll say, “No.” and shoot him. No, on second thought I’ll shoot him then say “No.”
15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror “And he must be taken alive!” The command will be “And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical.”
82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.