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Complete Failure

March 25th, 2006 @ 10:01 am PST

Failure to LaunchThe only two positive things I can say about Failure to Launch are that it was not quite as bad as A Historyof Violence and that it had a decent soundtrack. (And, of course, for some reason that soundtrack is not available at Amazon or on iTunes.)

Terry Bradshaw did the best acting in the film.

Let me put it this way: Terry Bradshaw did the best acting in the film. McConaughey plays the exact same character he’s played in every role he’s ever had. Parker spent the majority of the film being very loud and looking very old.

Let me put it another way: There is a 3+ minute scene in which a couple of the supporting cast members — the “subploteers” — perform CPR / mouth-to-mouth to revive a bird they shot with a BB gun.

The only reason I can’t say that this film was worse than A History of Violence is because at no point did it attempt to pretend that it was a good movie. I can’t imagine that anyone involved with this waste of time even remotely thought they were producing a good movie, and it shows.

If you have a choice between catching a Saved by the Bell marathon on cable and going to see this flick, go with Screech.

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Responses to “Complete Failure”

  1. March 25th, 2006 @ 10:31 am
    TP

    Go see Tsotsi! It is a very powerful film. It has been done before with the criminal mind and redemption, but not in this raw way! Highly recommended!

  2. March 25th, 2006 @ 11:21 pm
    TriciaJacy

    I love you. I love you with all my heart and can’t wait to marry you. I know that you wish I read your website more. The thing is … I *do* read your website. All the time. The probelem is, I’m such a narcissist that I can’t stand that I’m not in it more. Perhaps I should start …. ooops…you’re asking me who I’m typing. I’M TYPING YOU! Gotta go … you’re COMING!

  3. March 27th, 2006 @ 8:47 am
    mikey

    Wow, I thought “A History of Violence” was supposed to be a good film? Well, critically acclaimed, anyway. Nice to know we can wait for it on cable an know we’re not missing anything.

    We saw “V for Vendetta” Friday night, and… well, we left with more questions than we came in with. And it was kinda… well, it was kinda blah. Like, “Eh, this is OK, but we missed America’s Funniest Home Videos.”

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