Got to be good-lookin' 'cause he's so hard to see.

A New Hope

Hey, hey, Hollywood. I’ve got an idea. Instead of re-releasing the craptacular and uninspiring Clash of the Titans in 3D, why not re-release Star Wars: Episode IV in its original format? (i.e. no walking Jabba, no Greedo shooting first) In fact you really should simply do this every five years or so. Get on that, […]

Top Five Christmas Movies

A Christmas Story Die Hard Love Actually Tie: Christmas Vacation / It’s A Wonderful Life Tie: The Ref / Home for the Holidays

Friday Five: Badass NCOs

This week we have a reader-submitted “guest” Friday Five. Special thanks to @rogueplanet for this list of …

The Five Most Badass Noncommissioned Officers (Sergeants) Featured in a Movie:

5. Career Sergeant Zim (Clancy Brown) – Starship Troopers

4. Sergeant Oddball (Donald Sutherland) – Kelly’s Heroes

3. Staff Sergeant Barnes (Tom Berenger) – Platoon

2. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (R. Lee Ermey) – Full Metal Jacket

1. Master Sergeant Gary Gordon (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and Sergeant First Class Randy Shughart (Johnny Strong) – Black Hawk Down

Friday Five: Villains
  1. Darth Vader
  2. Lex Luthor
  3. The Joker
  4. Brainiac
  5. Montgomery Burns
Hot Tub Time Machine

I don’t even know where to begin here. This movie is awesome. This movie is seriously awesome. Go see it. Note: Awesomeness of movie not guaranteed for those born after 1975. But if you were born in ’73 — like me — you will laugh your ass off.

Friday Five: Bond Women Names
  1. Pussy Galore
  2. Holly Goodhead
  3. Penelope Smallbone
  4. Plenty O’Toole
  5. Xenia Onatopp
Friday Five: Awesome Spaceships
  1. Millennium Falcon
  2. Battlestar Galactica
  3. X-Wing Fighter
  4. USS Enterprise
  5. Gunstar
Living Under a Rock

With the possible exceptions of my father and (maybe-not-so-strangely-coincidentally) my father-in-law, I don’t know anyone who is as voracious a reader as I am. I also seem to consume an outlandish amount of television and there is rarely a moment in my life in which there isn’t music playing. Oh, and I love movies. Yet, […]

One Awesome Year

When I was a kid I thought that no year would ever be able to beat 1983 for movies. In addition to Return of the Jedi, Vacation, and WarGames — three of my all-time favorites — that year also saw the release of Scarface, The Right Stuff, Risky Business, Octopussy, Monty Python’s The Meaning of […]

The 2009 Movie List

I do not have obsessive compulsive disorder. I do not have obsessive compulsive disorder. Let me make it absolutely clear that I do not have obsessive compulsive disorder. But … I will admit that I am fanatical about some things. Since I was a sophomore in high school — a mind-bogglingly shocking twenty-something years ago […]

Friday Five: Favorite Bond Movies
  1. Live and Let Die
  2. Casino Royale
  3. The Spy Who Loved Me
  4. Moonraker
  5. Octopussy
Friday Five: Favorite Tom Cruise Movies
  1. Jerry Maquire
  2. Top Gun
  3. Vanilla Sky
  4. Minority Report
  5. Born on the Fourth of July
Real Products for Fictional Companies

The excellent local blog CurbedLA had an entry recently on artist Mark Bennett’s blueprints of fictional places. He has created very detailed floor-plans of famous pretend places, like the homes of George and Jane Jetson, Rob and Laura Petrie, and June and Ward Cleaver. (There’s a book, too!) I thought these were terrific so I […]

Tauntaun Sleeping Bag

They probably would have sold a lot more of these if they’d had them twenty years ago. I can’t remember the last time I slept in a sleeping bag, and I certainly don’t see it happening any time soon. I would have thought this was awesome when I was 11, though. “This high-quality sleeping bag […]

Friday Five: Favorite Indiana Jones Scenes
  1. When he’s complaining to Marion about his injuries on the boat
  2. When he runs away from the giant boulder at the beginning of Raiders
  3. When the pirate points to him swimming towards the submarine
  4. When he’s just about to cut the rope bridge
  5. When he’s fighting the Nazis on the truck with the Ark
  6. Bonus: When he’s fighting the bald Nazi at the airplane
Star Wars Design Flaws

Note to the Emperor: Someone on your Death Star design staff is in the pay of Rebel forces. Oh, right, you can’t get the memo because someone threw you down a huge exposed shaft in your Death Star throne room. from John Scalzi’s Guide to the Most Epic FAILs in Star Wars Design

What about Sicko?

Does anyone have any idea why the Michael Moore film about health insurance in America, Sicko, got nowhere near the same amount of publicity as Bowling for Columbine or Fahrenheit 9/11? I’m not asking how you feel about the message / content of any of these films. I’m just trying to understand why Sicko seemed […]

Friday Five – Harrison Ford Movies

Raiders of the Lost Ark

  1. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
  2. Star Wars (1977)
  3. Presumed Innocent (1990)
  4. Clear and Present Danger (1994)
  5. Witness (1985)
Why the Original “Star Trek” Still Matters

Listen: I was never a huge Trek fan. I was always Star Wars all the way. After school my sister and I watched cartoons — Tom & Jerry, Bugs Bunny, Superfriends — and then, because we were usually with my grandparents, the standard early 80s grandparent shows: Happy Days, Barney Miller, Alice, and M*A*S*H. It […]

Friday Five: Comedies

Five Classics That I’ll Watch Every Time:

  1. Fletch
  2. Bull Durham
  3. Airplane
  4. Soapdish
  5. A Fish Called Wanda