So yesterday, while I was reading this, I ate an entire bag of microwave popcorn. No, I’m not a slow reader, you dork. I am an extremely fast popcorn-eater. I in-freakin’-hale the stuff. I love popcorn. Then when we went to see X-Men I consumed a Large bag during the previews. So by like nine o’clock I had, literally, two farging pounds of popcorn in my intestines. That cannot possibly be good for a person. Once in college Dr. Twitchell – A genius. Go buy his books at Amazon.Com. – had us write a paper on vampires in late 19th century literature (or something like that) and I handed in a three-page essay on the history of popcorn. If I remember correctly, he called me an asshole – I think he actually wrote that on my essay – but still gave me an A.