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I tried to resist but I just couldn’t. I first saw links to Rolling Stone.com‘s 50 Coolest Records and 50 UnCoolest Records a few days ago. I visited and started looking at the Cool list.

The site is designed intentionally (apparently) to force you to look at the albums one at a time; there’s no place with just a list of them. So that’s kind of annoying. (The same is true of the UnCool list.) After the first five I got bored when I realized that these aren’t supposed to be the “best” records or the “most influential” records or anything like that. They’re just supposed to be “cool” or “uncool” based on the opinions of some dorks folks at RS.

I suppose I don’t need to say that I disagree with the inclusion of most of the albums on both lists. I didn’t even bother to finish looking at them until I read Kottke’s post on the subject. He mentions that he owns one record from the cool list and none of the records on the uncool list. I’m just sitting here listening to APHC on a lazy Saturday afternoon in LA and decided to see how many I have from each list.

I suppose it’s a testament to my taste. I have five from each list. I was obviously not content to let RS decide a matter of such great importance, so I compiled my own list. It was tough to not include Nirvana‘s Nevermind or Soul Coughing‘s Irresistable Bliss, but I tried to just rank the ten “coolest” albums I own, based on RS’s enigmatic non-definition of “cool”. So here you go.

The Ten (or so) “Coolest” Albums of All-Time (according to me):

• 10.  Led Zeppelin II – Led Zeppelin
• 9.   self-titled – George Thorogood and the Destroyers
• 8.   Behind the Sun – Eric Clapton
• 7.   Let It Bleed – Rolling Stones
• 6. (tie) Nebraska, Born in the U.S.A. – Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band
• 5.   purple – Stone Temple Pilots
• 4. (tie) Graceland, Bridge Over Troubled Water – Paul Simon, Simon & Garfunkel
• 3.   Highway 61 Revisited – Bob Dylan
• 2.   The Wall – Pink Floyd
• 1. (tie) Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, Help!, Abbey Road, Rubber Soul, and the white album – Beatles

From the Cool list:

• Parallel Lines – Blondie
• Paul’s Boutique – Beastie Boys
• Revolver – The Beatles
• John Wesley Harding – Bob Dylan
• Odelay – Beck

From the UnCool list:

• Come On Over – Shania Twain
• Bat Out of Hell – Meatloaf
• Five Man Acoustical Jam – Tesla
• Gordon – Barenaked Ladies
• Long Cold Winter – Cinderella

And, quickly, here are the albums that *almost* made it onto my top ten list: Damn the Torpedos – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, 101 – Depeche Mode, The Colour and the Shape – Foo Fighters, Californication – Red Hot Chili Peppers, Synchronicity – The Police, Before These Crowded Streets – Dave Matthews Band, Pretty Hate Machine – Nine Inch Nails, 40 oz. to Freedom – Sublime, Van Halen II and Diver Down – Van Halen