So I had a bit of a bug on Saturday and spent most of the day in a deep Alka Seltzer Plus-induced sleep. At one point I awoke to find a curious message on my answering machine. A little kid somewhere in the San Bernardino area code called with a get-well message for Eric Gagne, the Dodgers pitcher. “I’m your biggest fan,” he said, “and I hope your leg gets better really soon.”
I considered calling him and pretending to be the dominant closer, but (a) I have no idea what Eric Gagne sounds like, how he talks, or what in the world you’d say to a kid that thinks you’re a hero and (b) I feared that since he’s sort of close to LA, he might have a classmate or something that does know Eric, and then I’d get the kid or the pitcher in hot water with a lie …
It would be tragic if I was to pretend to be someone I’m not and then have him brag to all his friends and get busted for it. So I just hoped that someday the kid gets to catch a pop fly at a game, that Eric’s leg is on the mend, and then hit delete.