I get a lot of spam. A lot. No, really. I get a lot of spam.

I am directly or indirectly connected to the whois / registration of dozens and dozens of sites. I get a.lot.of.spam.

So. Tonight I happen to notice a piece of spam directed towards a URL that I own that nobody should know I own. It’s interesting because it actually includes my full name (along with the URL) in the body of the message. How the spammers got this is beyond me. (I intend to learn, though.)

I get a lot of spam.

It was a piece of spam promising “traffic” and “search engine rankings”. The hook is that the service is free for the 1st month and then $50/mo after that. The claim is that after one month I’ll be so impressed with the flood of traffic to my site that I’ll gladly pay.

So I clicked. (Yes, first I guaranteed that the URL didn’t contain a tracking id to link to the email address and confirm myself as a valid spam-responder.)

I despise actually including the sites here because I do not want to provide them extra link-pop, but alas I must.

The first link (and the one that was actually in the spam) is for SubmissionShark. The “About” page notes that the service “is supported up by Search Engine experts who have been in this industry since the beginning.” (I’ll ignore the random “up” in the text.) What do you think? Any “Search Engine experts” want to admit to “supporting up” these guys? Yeah. I didn’t think so.

Moving right along. SubmissionShark is apparently a subsidiary of / powered by DreamSEO. These lovely folks make some incredible claims. What’s scary is how many newbie webmasters and / or marketing directors are falling for it.

From the home page: “DreamSEO offers the complete solution for Search Engine Optimizers. If you spend over $10,000/Mo. in click-through advertising or have a full-time person working on search engines, you must have this software.” Dude. Are there really companies spending $10,000/mo on pay-per-click campaigns? Good heavens.

Let’s walk through their “About” page step-by-step, shall we?

1. Our approach to doing search engine placement is completely unique. We don’t use gateway pages as our main focus. DreamSEO software goes for the more advanced approach by using “theme-based” (CONTENT-DRIVEN) foundations. We use real content with articles and discussion topics that we feed the search engines; not just some gateway page or static site.

Their approach is completely unique. Right. I’m sure that’s why they are rolling in dough. Obviously they have enough cash to have hired top-notch designers to have built this stellar site. They don’t use gateway pages as their main focus? Can we assume then that they do, in fact, employ gateway pages as part of their focus? They use “real” content. I assume that’s opposed to “fake” content. How do they “feed” the search engines for their clients? And then, again, the nebulous reference to gateway pages; still not indicating whether they think gateway pages are good or bad.

2. With our fully-automated technologies, we can create full websites that have thousands of pages, giving your campaign a firm foundation in the search engines. We have the ability to create hundreds of these websites, thus creating many foundations in the search engines. When many foundations are in place, hundreds or even thousands of searches can come up for your website. This means we have unlimited ability to create as many keywordsets as we want.

Are they saying that they create “hundreds of these websites” on their clients’ behalf? Or are they just boasting that they have the ability to create them? I can’t really think of any way to create hundreds and / or thousands of “pages” of content about anything — much less a niche topic — that doesn’t involve blatant plaigarism or millions of dollars spent on copywriters. Or are they just mashing tons of random words together and sprinkling your keywords in with them? Y’know. To tell you the truth I don’t really understand what it is that they are trying to tell me with this paragraph.

3. We have special relationships with the search engines that get our material indexed within 2 weeks from the time we do your project. These relationships also help give your pages longevity (to stay) in the search engines.
Each of the hundreds or thousands of pages we submit for you are specially optimized for your keywords in the top search engines. This means more pages get indexed and more clicks per page.

“Special relationships with the search engines”? What kind of relationships? I’m sure there are more than a few shareholders of these search engines that would love to learn more about these special relationships. I love how they call them “the” search engines. That’s great. And they get their material indexed within two weeks? (A) I find it hard to believe that they actually do anything to make that happen and (B) What good will it do my site to have their material indexed? And what in the name of Sergey is it that they are thinking they are doing to “specially optimize” these pages for the “top” search engines?

4. Many companies use software tools off of the Internet which are available to the public for anyone to use. Even large positioning companies use these tools. Other companies use the directory approach which is very costly and limits traffic.
DreamSEO does not use third party tools or any type of approach that is available to the public. We have developed our own in-house proprietary technologies, approaches, and marketing techniques that sets us apart from everyone else.

What are these magical tools that “many companies” use? What are “large positioning companies”? And what is “the directory approach”? (Yes, I know what they’re trying to say. They’re just not very good at saying it.)


What’s even better than their “About” page is their “Products” page. Apparently you can buy this magical software for only $30,000! Or if you are a new SEO company you can get their SEO version for just $70,000! Do people actually fall for this? I suppose they only need one or two suckers a year to be happy. If you are selling widgets and you visit this page, if you really believe that their “software” works, wouldn’t you be an idiot if you didn’t immediately stop selling widgets and instead buy their $70,000 package and start doing this?

I really, really, really hate spam.

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