davidgagne.net

There is an elevator in my building. It is often broken. It is often being repaired. The most recent time it was “fixed”, the brainiacs that run the building installed a new, helpful sign. The sign reads, “In the event the elevator becomes inoperable, do not become alarmed. Press the red ‘Alarm’ button.” Let’s ignore the fact that they’re telling us to press a button labeled “Alarm” but not to actually, y’know, become alarmed. What’s more comical is that the button is not red. It’s white.

And what in the world possessed them to put quotation marks around “if furnished”? Was this to stress that at the time the sign was installed they — for some strange reason — couldn’t tell that there is not a telephone in the elevator?