Elevator Warning March 26th, 2009 @ 9:48 am PST
Both elevators in my office include this notice: SHOULD THE ELEVATOR DOORS FAIL TO OPEN DO NOT BECOME ALARMED. THERE IS LITTLE DANGER OF RUNNING OUT OF AIR OR OF THIS ELEVATOR DROPPING UNCONTROLLABLY. PLEASE USE BUTTON MARKED “ALARM” OR TELEPHONE (IF FURNISHED) TO SUMMON AID. Here are a few of the issues I have […]
Rock and Roll July 29th, 2008 @ 11:06 am PST
5.4! What’s crazy is that I was on an elevator when it hit. The elevator in my building is constantly closed for repairs and people are getting stuck on it all the time, so I just assumed that it was the damn thing broken again. Then I stepped out of the elevator onto my floor […]
Elevator Idiots February 19th, 2008 @ 8:32 am PST
There is an elevator in my building. It is often broken. It is often being repaired. The most recent time it was “fixed”, the brainiacs that run the building installed a new, helpful sign. The sign reads, “In the event the elevator becomes inoperable, do not become alarmed. Press the red ‘Alarm’ button.” Let’s ignore […]
Crazy Elevators February 12th, 2001 @ 3:32 pm PST
I work on the fourth floor of a six-story building. At six o’clock every night the elevators go into some wacky funky-logic mode. The two on the right will only travel between floors 6 – L (the Lobby) and the two on the left will only travel between the three underground parking levels and the […]
