davidgagne.net

I saw a link to this story in my Twitter feed, and then I saw several people linking to it on Facebook, and I chuckled at the title. The Onion has made me smile on such a consistent basis over the years; I seriously hope the people that work there are paid well, because they deserve it. I finally got around to actually reading the article this morning and it made me literally laugh out loud.

As evidence, Simmons pointed to a 2011 University of Maryland study, which found that 98 percent of Americans who own a gorilla have never used them for defense against a home invasion. Simmons also cited widely reported studies confirming that people who keep gorillas in the home are 12 times more likely to have their arms torn off, and children in those households are 19 times more likely to be picked up by the legs and bashed repeatedly into the ground.