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Several good ones from Romenesko’s Obscure Store and Reading Room:

• “The tiger was only being a tiger,” said Simmons of the attack Thursday in an outdoor pen in front of a group of schoolchildren.
• The customer at a Ralphs supermarket “got upset because the manager would not give her more than one ham.”
• Here’s a tip for swingers: Don’t secretly videotape sex with a mistress, post the tape on the Internet without her permission, and then lie about it … especially if you’re married … and having a separate affair with a third woman … and trying to make sure that none of the three knows about the other two.