I am sad to report that the ‘new’ Planet of the Apes is possibly one of the top five worst movies I’ve ever seen.

The audience was phenomenal.

The special effects were mind-blowing. The acting was honestly ‘not that bad’. The audience was phenomenal. The theater sound system and projection was state-of-the-art. The trailers were enthralling. The costumes were neat-o. The token, gorgeous, scantily-clad, buxom blonde was token, gorgeous, scantily-clad, buxom, and blonde.

The plot and the writing … well … the plot and the writing were … well … they stunk in a manner very, very similar to how I expect ape feces would if you hurled a few chunks of it at a movie screen.

There are 2 comments on this post

  1. What really bugs me is that I kept waiting … waiting … and then the ‘end’ was so, so, so bad … so STUPID! … oh, man. I have to tell you: It wasn’t just that the ending sucked, it was that IT MADE NO SENSE. None! And anyone who saw the movie and said, “Oh, the ending … yeah! It was great. I totally got it. I don’t think most people got it though,” is a LYING IDIOT. I can say this because THERE IS NOTHING TO ‘GET’. There was no deeper, hidden meaning. There was no plot twist. IT JUST SUCKED! I couldn’t believe it. Man. Man! They just **** ed it up. Damn them! I almost WANT you to go see it just so you can say, “Oh, man. You were right. That was … well … it just didn’t make any sense.” If it made *some* sense, it wouldn’t have been so bad. Then you would have just said, “Man. That movie sucked.” But there was NO SENSE to the ending … in ANY way! … so much lack of sense that I was actually PISSED OFF that I saw the movie. I feel cheated. **** .(I love commenting on my own posts. It’s just so … I don’t know … pathetic?)

  2. I wholeheartedly agree.Add to that the fact that the audience, while polite and quiet during the movie, practically ran from the theatre (at the FREE preview) uttering things like “Well, THAT sucked!” and “Remind me again why we came to see this?”You made all the points. There is nothing more to add.

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