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Typing Monkeys May 10th, 2003 @ 12:32 pm PDT

Give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, the theory goes, and they will eventually produce the works of Shakespeare. Give six monkeys one computer for a month, and they will make a mess.

ApeCrap July 30th, 2001 @ 5:19 pm PDT

I am sad to report that the ‘new’ Planet of the Apes is possibly one of the top five worst movies I’ve ever seen. The audience was phenomenal. The special effects were mind-blowing. The acting was honestly ‘not that bad’. The audience was phenomenal. The theater sound system and projection was state-of-the-art. The trailers were […]

Determined Chimp June 8th, 2001 @ 7:56 am PDT

If the space program teaches us anything about electroshock conditioning, it’s that a strong mind can get past it. Enos, a 39-pound chimpanzee, was trained with the technique to run through the routine he’d need to complete the first primate orbiting of the Earth. During months of training, if he pulled a switch or lever […]

Monkey Man! May 16th, 2001 @ 6:25 am PDT

Panic-Hit City Hunts ‘Ape-Like’ Attacker! ‘Monkey Man’ Hysteria Grips New Delhi Suburbs! New Delhi (Reuters) – Fear gripped some suburbs of the Indian capital on Tuesday after dozens of residents reported attacks by an ape-like creature able to leap from roof to roof. Media reports said that the collective hysteria claimed a second life early […]

Monkey Business May 11th, 2001 @ 11:42 am PDT

There’s a reason we call him “Crazy” Uncle Joe. The Uncle’s Monkey is the best … meme? … thing? … idea? … game? … joke? … on the internet. Have you been following Little Joey Tio’s antics?

Guess The Evil Dictator February 12th, 2001 @ 2:13 pm PST

Guess The Evil Dictator / Sit-Com Character is kind of funny if you have a few minutes. Here is a line from the FAQ: How does this work? Monkeys. Lots and lots of monkeys. Actually, version 1 was written in C, used a flat file database, and a lot of recursion. Version 2 was written […]

Helping Hands Monkeys November 6th, 2000 @ 11:37 am PST

Monkeys Abound: Helping Hands is a non-profit organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for quadriplegic individuals by training capuchin monkeys to assist them with daily activities. There was, coincidentally, a capuchin monkey at the party I attended Saturday night. Cookie Monster and a llama were there as well, but there was nothing coincidental […]

Joke October 30th, 2000 @ 8:38 am PST

A lady who lived in Los Angeles had two pet monkeys of which she was very fond. One of them took sick and died. A couple of days later the other one died of a broken heart. Wishing to keep them, the kindly lady took them to a taxidermist. The man, seeing how much she […]