I know you want to believe it. I know that it came from a trustworthy source — your sister, your cousin, your aunt — who would never lie to you. I know it is almost plausible. But, no. Your aunt did not have twins in her class named Orange Jello and Lemon Jello. Your sister did not overhear a woman in the grocery store calling her daughter Shithead. Your cousin the nurse never had to explain to someone that Vagina was not an appropriate name for a newborn. Stop forwarding me these silly stories, people.

There are 4 comments on this post

  1. OK, I understand your point, but our friend Marsha did, in fact, marry a man named either Jim or Joe Mallow.

    I have witnesses!!!!!

  2. Oh wow, DVG. You just got pwned by your Mom. Masha Mellow…that’s awesome.

  3. I’ll have to tell my friend, Richard Head, that he’s just an urban legend. So, too, my friend, Jimmy Masturbation. I’m not actually sure that’s his real last name, but man, does it fit.

  4. Actually, my mother was a kindergarten teacher in a rather poor part of town when I was in my early teens (more than 20 years ago, damn I’m old). She did have a kid named Lemonjello. She bought him shoes because his family couldn’t afford any.

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