davidgagne.net

Both elevators in my office include this notice:

SHOULD THE ELEVATOR DOORS FAIL TO OPEN
DO NOT BECOME ALARMED.
THERE IS LITTLE DANGER OF RUNNING OUT OF AIR
OR OF THIS ELEVATOR DROPPING UNCONTROLLABLY.
PLEASE USE BUTTON MARKED “ALARM” OR
TELEPHONE (IF FURNISHED) TO SUMMON AID.

Here are a few of the issues I have with this sign:

• If I am not supposed to become alarmed, why label the button ALARM?
• The fact that it says, “THERE IS LITTLE DANGER,” seems to imply that there is, in fact, some danger involved. So maybe I will run out of air and / or drop uncontrollably? That’s mildly worrisome.
• Why the “(IF FURNISHED)”? When the sign was installed did the elevator not have a telephone? Or did the sign installer think that there was a possibility that the telephone might one day be removed?
• And, finally, using all uppercase letters is not exactly calming.

At least they’re better than the signs in the elevator at my last building.