Brandissimo!There’s a guy in my office who surreptitiously records the absurd things we all say, then sends a company-wide email with his collection to ring in the new year.

Here are my out-of-context comments which made the list this year, and a few of my co-workers (with their names removed):


  • “David is a great name for a girl.”
  • “We could all be dead in seven minutes.”
  • “Who would drink orange juice with pulp?”
  • “Rudolph’s dad is a dick.”
  • “Rudolph comes from a long line of reindeer dicks.”


  • “I have a couple thoughts on chili.”
  • “But look at all those words I spelled correctly!”
  • “Who doesn’t love wombats?”
  • “The best way to get nothing done is to send an email to two people.”
  • “I think most songs are about love, crappy things that happen, and death.”
  • “I find chickens very persuasive.”
  • “I neither love nor hate Jack White … kind of like cilantro.”
  • “Peacocks are assholes.”
  • “He looks like Barack Obama. If Barack Obama was a little albino and blind.”
  • “Catamarans make great beds.”
  • “Can we find a way to balance your desire to make it scalable, with my desire to have it not look terrible?”

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