I’m very good at integral and differential calculus.
From the monthly archives:
Apu: I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service.
Homer: You’re … selling what, now?
Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
Homer: You can’t sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. [slams the door]
Apu: He’s got me there.
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Here is a collection of some of the nice things people have said about my Hemingway site:
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The Gators had been considered a bubble team heading into the tournament, but because they play in baseball’s best conference, the SEC, and finished the season with wins in 23 of their final 35 games, the Gators received the No. 2 seed in this regional … “The whole state is very good. I don’t care whether it’s Division I, Division II, Division III, junior college, there’s always outstanding teams in this state and outstanding players.”
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Boston Red Sox at New York Yankees Although it is still May, a large crowd and a playoff-type atmosphere should be expected Tuesday night when the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees begin a three-game series. The Yankees are returning home from a 2-4 road trip and are 1 1/2 games behind the Red Sox for the lead in the American League East. |
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You just *have* to go see this guy’s nose. Use the tweezers to see what you can do with them. Beauty? Why? You’ll see …
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The folks at BIONIC SYSTEMS have an incredible Flash site. I haven’t looked at anything beyond the entrance page and I’m already very impressed. This amazing splash page is worth a visit even if there’s nothing else at the site. Check ‘em out.
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Really. Because I just can’t help myself. Here are a few more search strings that have led people to my site:
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More Debunking Fun!
Claim: The closure and removal of Disneyland’s Skyway in November of 1994 was prompted by a guest’s having fallen from the ride several months earlier.
Status: False.
Claim: Several guests have lost their lives on various Disneyland attractions.
Status: True.
Claim: One of the castle spires on the cover of Disney’s The Little Mermaid home video was deliberately drawn as a phallus by a disgruntled artist.
Status: False.
Has anyone ever died while riding Space Mountain?
You’ve probably heard the rumor that a passenger was decapitated while riding Space Mountain Anaheim. This is Urban Legend; people have died while riding the attraction before, but their deaths have been caused by such things as heart attacks (it is fairly well accepted that one such death in Paris was due to a heart attack). One version of this story has that a test dummy in the Orlando Space Mountain was the thing which lost a head.
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Someone in Australia invented a combination keyboard and mouse that looks like it would be a pain. I don’t know how quickly I could adapt to using one since I’m not a true touch-typist. Hmmm …
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chocolate
I hate when you’ve eaten all the Krackels and then all the Special Darks and then all the Hershey’s and all that you have left are Mr. Goodbars. Also, I want a cigarette.
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My blog was / is named bling. It just popped into my head one day about a year or so ago. It’s short for “rambling”. It’s also the route by which most of my visitors seem to find me. Why all these lost souls are searching the internet for “bling” escapes me. Why so many seem to be searching for “bling bling” escapes me even more (Is that possible? Why do we instinctively put English muffins in the toaster with the insides facing each other? Is there any logic to that? Is the inside of the toaster hotter than the outside and the inside of the muffin is what we wanted toasted more? Have you ever put the muffin in the toaster with the insides facing out? Have you?). I wonder if they are finding the bling for which they search here. I find that hard to imagine.
Forthwith: My personal version of Disturbing Search Requests; here are the things that (some apparently lost and confused) people have typed into Google or Yahoo! or AltaVista in order to discover my page:
bling bling, oceanblog, www.bling bling.com, ocean clipart, the snows of kilimanjaro, fat man’s penis, titus andronicus essays, video net girls, gatsby and automobile, ocean homeostasis, the snows of kilimanjaro by hemingway, the old man and the sea and joe dimaggio, hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy satire essay, immortality of the soul by plato, lifegaurd shorts, nurse flirt pics, bike shorts and fuck and jpg, maggie: a girl of the streets theme, for whom the bell tolls relationships, old man and the sea essay
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