I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery.

When “Life Hacking” Is Really White Privilege

January 2nd, 2014 @ 7:17 am
Dealing with My iPhoto Library

I have about 40,000 photos, which makes iPhoto impossible to use. I don’t mean, “It’s difficult for me to use.” I mean, “I can’t use it at all.” It crashes on me constantly; And on the rare occasions I am able to even open the application, its performance is too unbearably slow and unresponsive to […]

December 6th, 2013 @ 8:59 am
Friday Five: Illogical Bathroom Practices

The Wrong WayFive Things That Happen in Bathrooms That Annoy Me:

  • throwing away a paper towel, missing the trash, and not bothering to pick it up
  • squeezing the middle of a tube of toothpaste / not flattening and rolling the tube from the bottom
  • toilet paper loaded with the leading edge towards the wall
  • bathroom attendants
  • not closing the toilet seat lid completely every time
January 22nd, 2013 @ 9:14 am
The Scarlet M

I’ve been thinking lately that there should be some way to flag others on Facebook to remind yourself to ignore them. Of course you can unfriend people; I’m not talking about that. I’m primarily talking about friends of friends. I kind of like the idea of a scarlet M, for moron. Frequently I’ll read a […]

January 11th, 2013 @ 8:37 am
Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack

I saw a link to this story in my Twitter feed, and then I saw several people linking to it on Facebook, and I chuckled at the title. The Onion has made me smile on such a consistent basis over the years; I seriously hope the people that work there are paid well, because they […]

August 29th, 2012 @ 10:33 am
My Contacts

For over a year now I’ve had a problem with my contacts on my iPhone. It’s a very strange bug. I get a phone call and if I save the contact to my address book, it appears in my phone correctly under the “recent calls” list, but not in the Contacts app. And it never […]

June 13th, 2012 @ 9:31 am
Dealing

My tolerance for stupidity, ignorance, and imbeciles is jaw-droppingly lower before about ten o’clock in the morning, which means dealing with my mother’s health care on the East coast from the West coast has been just awful. By about noon every day for the last six months or so I’ve been feeling really, really stabby. […]

March 21st, 2012 @ 10:08 am
Federal Student Loan Repayment Change

Since 1996 — that’s 16 years! — I have been paying $182.26/mo on my federal student loans. The money is directly debited from my checking account each month. A few years ago the amount changed from $182.26/mo to $182.25/mo, and the Department of Education sent me a letter which I had to sign and return […]

September 4th, 2011 @ 5:59 am
One Week after September 11

Originally posted September 18, 2001 It’s been one week. So this is the first anniversary of sorts. And next week it will be two weeks. And then it will be a month since. And then it will be six months. And then a year. And then five years. And then ten years. When all the […]

May 2nd, 2010 @ 12:09 am
The 2010 Census

Okay, riddle me this, kids: The local NBC affiliate’s nightly news keeps running items about how Los Angeles residents are not returning their census forms. The anchorman reports hyper-specific percentages each evening of how many of us have not responded. On Thursday night he said that less than 72% of the city had completed the […]

January 27th, 2010 @ 7:30 am
Adventures with Microsoft Support

My XBox 360 broke near the end of December. I was playing EA Sports NCAA Football 10 at around 3 o’clock in the morning — with the Gators leading 45 – 10 against an unbeaten #2 TCU late in the 3rd quarter of the 2014 BCS Championship Game — when the screen suddenly went black. […]

January 26th, 2010 @ 6:51 am
You Could NOT Care Less

I can’t stand when people say, “I could care less.” “I could care less,” is one of those little things that drives me absolutely batshit crazy. If you could care less, it means you care. That’s not what you mean when you say that, is it? What you mean is that you don’t care. Someone […]

January 11th, 2010 @ 8:00 am
Dangerous Mistakes

I was blessed — or cursed, I suppose, depending on your point of view — to have my first “real” programming job in the medical field. I wrote software which managed the processing of human tissue (knees, fascia lata, femurs, etc.) for implantation into human patients. I was very young and very stupid at the […]

September 22nd, 2009 @ 4:46 pm
AIG Has $182 Billion of Your Money

Robert Benmosche, new CEO of AIG — which continues to hold $182 billion of the taxpayers’ money, and seems in no hurry to return any — will be paid about $7 million per year. That means typical people, who earn a median $50,000 a year, are being taxed so yet another plutocrat can own an […]

August 18th, 2009 @ 8:16 am
Pontiac G5 Rental Car

So I’m currently driving a Pontiac G5 while the Mercedes is in the shop. I don’t think I can easily explain the many problems I have with this car. It is a very good example, I think, of why the American auto industry is in the toilet.

April 10th, 2009 @ 9:19 am
Friday Five: Bally’s Encino

Encino GymThings That Currently Suck at the Encino Bally’s Total Fitness

  1. They refuse to post a sign at the front desk alerting members when there is no hot water in the locker room showers, which happens several times each week.
  2. When I joined a year ago there were multiple sets of complete ranges of free-weights. Recently, though, the dumbbells have been steadily disappearing at an alarming rate. It is now almost impossible — even when the gym is not crowded beyond capacity — to find a matched set of the same weight.
  3. The medicine balls have mysteriously been deemed to be an insurance risk, so you cannot use them to exercise without paying for a personal trainer to assist you with them.
  4. Although there are always multiple employees aimlessly chatting near the front desk, nobody is ever tasked with policing the free-weight area, so the few weights that are still there are never racked correctly.
  5. For almost a full year now the staff has ignored all of my pleas to get both of the Concept II ergometers repaired. (The flywheels, footstraps, and monitors are broken on both machines.)
April 7th, 2009 @ 9:06 pm
Rescue Me on DirecTV FXHD

Let’s get something straight right now: Denis Leary’s Rescue Me is the best show on television. Heroes is pretty damn good, but since Friday Night Lights jumped the shark and West Wing ended years ago, Rescue Me is the current champ. A few seasons ago I had some problems getting my DVRs to record the […]

March 26th, 2009 @ 9:48 am
Elevator Warning

Both elevators in my office include this notice: SHOULD THE ELEVATOR DOORS FAIL TO OPEN DO NOT BECOME ALARMED. THERE IS LITTLE DANGER OF RUNNING OUT OF AIR OR OF THIS ELEVATOR DROPPING UNCONTROLLABLY. PLEASE USE BUTTON MARKED “ALARM” OR TELEPHONE (IF FURNISHED) TO SUMMON AID. Here are a few of the issues I have […]

March 24th, 2009 @ 8:16 am
The Douche Hat

The chapeau pictured here has become pathetically popular in Los Angeles lately. For a year or so we referred to it as The K-Fed, but now we just call it The Douche Hat. (This should not be considered a compliment.) Even K-Fed hardly ever is seen in public donning it these days, it’s become so […]

February 9th, 2009 @ 11:53 am
Hacked Checking Account

Well, it’s finally happened. After over a decade of using the Internet for 10+ hours/day, someone has attempted to steal my identity. I went to my Washington Mutual online checking account to review my balance this morning and discovered a dozen charges that were most certainly not made by me (or my wife). Someone using […]