Posts tagged “jokes”

Jokes are democratic. Telling one right has nothing to do with having money or being educated. It’s a knack, like hammering a nail straight. Anyone can learn it, and it’s useful in all sorts of situations. You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy.
Garrison Keillor

A boy is hitchhiking on a country road. A car stops for him, and the driver asks, “Are you a Republican or a Democrat?”

“Democrat,” says the boy, and the car speeds off.

Another car stops, and the driver asks, “Are you a Republican or a Democrat?”

“Democrat,” says the boy, and the car speeds off.

This happens two or three times, and the boy decides he’s giving the wrong answer. The next car that stops is a convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. “Are you a Republican or a Democrat?” she asks.

“Republican,” says the boy, and she lets him in.

But as they’re driving along, the wind from the open top begins to push the blonde’s skirt higher and higher up her legs. And the boy finds himself becoming aroused. Finally he can’t control himself any longer. “Stop!” he hollers. “Let me out! I’ve only been a Republican for ten minutes and already I feel like screwing somebody!”

from Republican Party Reptile, by P.J. O’Rourke, 1987

So a Frog Walks into a Bank …

So a frog walks into a bank one afternoon and stands in line for a little while until finally a teller is available. He looks at her name tag and sees her name is Patricia Whack. “Hello, Miss Whack,” he croaks. “My name is Kermit and I’m here to get a loan.” “You’re the Kermit

Rough Times for 49ers Fans

A man walks into a bar with a cat in his arms and asks the bartender if the cat can stay. Grudgingly, the bartender agrees to let the cat sit on a bar stool, and he then turns on the 49ers game. When the 49ers kick a field goal, the cat just goes wild, jumping

Funny Comedy Jokes!

Davezilla — a site I’ve read for so long that I can no longer remember when I started reading it, which means it’s probably since before you even knew there was an internet — was feeling down in the dumps a few days ago. He asked his readers to raise his spirits. People started posting

Why do elephants wear small green hats?

Today marks my 2500th day of blogging. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate than with two lovely collections of elephant jokes. I love elephant jokes. And while you’re enjoying these elephant jokes, why not make a donation to The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee? What a fine thing to do on a Wednesday

Mad Cow Disease

So these two cows are out in a field, chewing the cud. One of them looks over and says, “So … what do you make of all this ‘mad cow disease’ nonsense?”


Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot ’round the world. Some friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a

Good Puns

Three excellent puns, via eMail, from my mom: I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. Without geometry, life is pointless. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Helium Joke

Every now and then my mom – because she loves me like silly – sends me newspaper clippings from the comics section. I just got a particularly funny one from Frank and Ernest. Two microbes are reading the latest issue of BioWeek magazine and one says to the other, “There’s a cover story on helium.”

What Is This? is the personal weblog of me, David Vincent Gagne. I've been publishing here since 1999, which makes this one of the oldest continuously-updated websites on the Internet.

A few years ago I was trying to determine what cocktails I could make with the alcohol I had at home. I searched the App Store but couldn't find an app that would let me do that, so I built one.


You can read dozens of essays and articles and find hundreds of links to other sites with stories and information about Ernest Hemingway in The Hemingway Collection.