Posts tagged “jokes”

UT

Even if they beat Florida, you still can’t spell ‘citrus’ without UT. Q. – What does UT football have in common with marijuana? A. – They both get smoked in a bowl. Q. – Why is the University of Tennessee in Knoxville and the State Prison in Nashville? A. – Nashville had first choice. Q.

joke 2

A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables around his neck. He growls at the bartender, “I want a shot of whiskey and I want it now!”

FSU Joke

A man walks into a store and goes straight to the counter. “I would like a garnet hat, a gold shirt, garnet pants, and some gold shoes.” The clerk looked at the man and said, “Are you a Florida State fan?” “I sure am!” replied the man. “Go ‘Noles!” “I thought so,” said the man

Vulture Joke

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.

George Carlin website

Webbified I’m always amazed and excited to find a web site of a real famous person. I found a link at BrainLog to the personal web site of George Carlin. Did you know he won his third Grammy this year? There is a ton of useful (and fun) information there, including a rant by the

Cannibal Expelled from School

Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?

Joke

A lady who lived in Los Angeles had two pet monkeys of which she was very fond. One of them took sick and died. A couple of days later the other one died of a broken heart. Wishing to keep them, the kindly lady took them to a taxidermist. The man, seeing how much she

Jokes

You’ll have to forgive me. Sometimes I just can’t help myself. Doctor: I have terrible news, sir. Not only do you have cancer, but you also have Alzheimer’s. Patient: Well, that is horrible. At least I don’t have cancer. Patient: Doctor, you have to help me! I think I’m a set of drapes! Doctor: Oh

Actor

Remember Friends? Wasn’t Joey an actor? He was; I’m pretty sure he was an actor. A bad one. So. How about this? The guy should do a commercial IRL. I kill me sometimes. Right? (What could he be promoting? I don’t know. It’s not important.) The important thing is: he gets to say, “I’m not

The Ping-Pong Ball Avalanche

And on the eighth day, Joe gave us The Ping-Pong Ball Avalanche.

What Is This?

davidgagne.net is the personal weblog of me, David Vincent Gagne. I've been publishing here since 1999, which makes this one of the oldest continuously-updated websites on the Internet.

bartender.live

A few years ago I was trying to determine what cocktails I could make with the alcohol I had at home. I searched the App Store but couldn't find an app that would let me do that, so I built one.

Hemingway

You can read dozens of essays and articles and find hundreds of links to other sites with stories and information about Ernest Hemingway in The Hemingway Collection.