comedy

More proof that Los Angeles is the world headquarters for Club Awesome™: In how many other cities can you get to the office one day to find you’re now working in Madonna’s crotch?

We are just another band trying to make enough money to fuel our private jet. Please help.

Jay Mohr’s Gasping for Airtime: Two Years in the Trenches of Saturday Night Live is the second “uncensored” book I’ve read about SNL. (I read Live from New York about two years ago.) Mohr is on the radio pretty frequently here in LA and I really enjoy Last Comic Standing when I catch it. His breakout role was as evil sports agent Bob Sugar in Jerry Maguire, and he appeared in the cult classic, life-in-LA film Go. This book is about the two years he spent as a writer and featured player on SNL. Yes, as you’d expect, there are a boatload of funny stories about all the crazy behind-the-scenes antics of the cast and guest hosts. But the great part about it is the story of his personal life and his struggles with depression, anxiety, and fame. It’s a really fascinating read and I definitely recommend it.

We are then introduced to the shabby state of both the grounds keeping and of stadium security at the Polo Grounds, as we see an angry rabbit (Bugs Bunny, RHP/UT) is able to heckle the visiting team from left field, where he has dug a fairly substantial hole, and is enjoying a carrot-dog and (it appears) has consumed a large bottle of wine through a straw.
…
In a tense confrontation at home, we see the Gorillas replace the umpire by force with one of their own so that they can call Bunny out at home in the next play. Bunny, to his credit, then manages to argue the fake umpire into reversing his own call.

Who in the world doesn’t want to eat bread that looks like human body parts?

What’s in Jimmy Kimmel’s pants?

kelly: You eat cottage cheese?
GatorDVG: never
kelly: Ah. Too bad.
GatorDVG: as far as I’m concerned, it’s just some sort of cheese and spoiled milk combination. two of my least favorite things on the planet.
kelly: Excellent for breakfast and before bedtime. Just the right blend of slow digesting carbs, protein and fat.
kelly: I hear you. People either like it or loathe it.
GatorDVG: and, I can only assume, it’s produced in cottages. that can’t be sanitary.
kelly: They’re very clean cottages though. They sweep them with those handmade brooms, like in fairly tales.
GatorDVG: ahh

Why would anyone blow their nose into a disposable piece of cotton when they can keep their boogers close to them until laundry day in a customized piece of soft cloth?

allison: did you know i also get earthquake text messages?
allison: anything over 4.0 in so cal
allison: bitchin
GatorDVG: so when the big ones comes and you’re lying under a pile of rubble, like five minutes later you’ll get a text message
GatorDVG: that’s great
allison: yeah well i’d like to know how bad it was
GatorDVG: you’ll be able to tell by simply counting how many of your limbs were severed
allison: totally
allison: but in numbers

In other news: Dave Davidson was the author of the study.

So apparently there’s a whole series of these parodies, but I think “Hitler: Bloodthirsty Dictator, Die-hard Cowboys Fan” is the best. Sure, it’s no Planet Unicorn, but it’s definitely the funniest YouTubery I’ve seen this year.
<hat tip to Andy>

Great flickr photoset: Understanding art for geeks
<hat tip to Jim>

A man walks into a bar with a cat in his arms and asks the bartender if the cat can stay. Grudgingly, the bartender agrees to let the cat sit on a bar stool, and he then turns on the 49ers game.

When the 49ers kick a field goal, the cat just goes wild, jumping up and own on the stool, then going the length of the bar and high-fiving customers.

The bartender is amazed. “If he does that for a field goal, how does he act when the Niners score a touchdown?”

“I don’t know,” said his owner. “I’ve only had him three years.”

Wow. You have got to feel bad for Kaitlin Corcoran. She’s got identity issues; she’s unclear on what her middle name is. She’s dating two guys at the same time, and they both have drastic problems with their anatomy. And she feels the need to tell me — a complete stranger — all about it. See for yourself.