I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

March 16th, 2004 @ 7:56 am
Dihydrogen Monoxide

In March 2004 the California municipality of Aliso Viejo (a suburb in Orange County) came within a cat’s whisker of falling for this hoax after a paralegal there convinced city officials of the danger posed by this chemical. The leg-pull got so far as a vote having been scheduled for the City Council on a […]

October 7th, 2003 @ 8:30 am
September 2nd, 2003 @ 5:52 pm
Perl v. Pearl

Note to hep-cat Amazon employees: “Perl the programming language” “Pearl Jam the rock band”.

July 24th, 2003 @ 7:51 am
Peppermint Patty

I find it completely incomprehensible that Peppermint Patty refers to Snoopy as “a funny-looking kid with a big nose.” How could she possibly not recognize that he is a dog?!

June 12th, 2003 @ 2:12 pm
Funny Stuff in My Inbox — High School Essays

These are from a joke email circulating that purports to be “ANALOGIES & METAPHORS FOUND IN HIGH SCHOOL ESSAYS”. I highly doubt that these were actually culled from high school essays. The main reason I don’t believe it is because there is no point of reference. There is no notation or source. The second reason […]

April 30th, 2003 @ 12:52 pm
Preparation H

Buy in Bulk and Save!Preparation H suppositories supply soothing relief from the internal swelling, burning, itching, and discomfort associated with hemorrhoids. While most people likely don’t want to discuss hemorrhoids, it’s estimated that 75% of Americans will experience hemorrhoid symptoms at some point in their lives. Preparation H suppositories soothe these painful and frustrating symptoms […]

April 25th, 2003 @ 10:15 am
Euphemism Generator

She seemed like a shy girl when they met, but a few drinks later, they were throwing the rubber bald-headed chutney.

April 1st, 2003 @ 10:27 am
Mad Cow Disease

So these two cows are out in a field, chewing the cud. One of them looks over and says, “So … what do you make of all this ‘mad cow disease’ nonsense?”

February 19th, 2003 @ 7:55 am
Happy White Asparagus

There’s something just not right about this image. I can’t put my finger on it … What do you think?

February 18th, 2003 @ 11:46 am
Contextless Content: Episode #20

Contextless Content: A portion of a conversation, usually from an instant messenger platform. GatorDavid says: wait a minute … GatorDavid says: I *do* have the irresistable urge to break into a zoo, jump the fence and try and french-kiss the pissiest looking polar bear … Tober says: you’re screwed dude.

February 10th, 2003 @ 6:41 am

A Photographic HisTory of Michael Jackson’s FaceWith blithering, yet witty commentary.

January 10th, 2003 @ 1:46 pm
Big Boobs and a Liquor Store

Best thing I’ve read that someone else blogged because they read it in another blog’s comments in a long time: “Call me enlightened but I don’t care what a woman looks like as long as she has big boobs and owns a liquor store.“

December 20th, 2002 @ 6:49 am
Colossal Colon

Colossal Colon Kicks Off 20-City Tour Don’t miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to crawl through the Colossal Colon when it comes to a city near you in 2003. The 40-ft. long replica of the human colon is on the road, courtesy of the Cancer Research and Prevention Foundation, to raise awareness of early detection […]

The Church of Michael Bolton of Latter-Day Saints

December 2nd, 2002 @ 7:51 am
Singing Horses

There’s nothing in the world quite as much fun as a quartet of singing horses to brighten your Monday morning. link via 50 cups of coffee

October 27th, 2002 @ 1:06 am
Simpsons Beer Bottle Opener
October 22nd, 2002 @ 11:09 am
Yes, I have an Exactlywatt on a chain!

Yes, I have an Exactlywatt on a chain!

June 26th, 2002 @ 6:50 am
Jack in the Box

On the side of a Jack in the Box bag: Everything in here tastes amazing. Except the napkins.

June 21st, 2002 @ 5:23 pm
What Is David?

This is quite funny. From Robyn came the idea to do a Google search on “David is“.Here are the top ten eleven things David is, according to Google: David is … the devil. David is … burning. David is … triumphant over Goliath. David is … currently a hot property in the character actor business. David is … science editor for Parade Magazine, and writes […]

June 5th, 2002 @ 9:34 am

Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot ’round the world. Some friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a […]