Can I borrow your towel for a sec? My car just hit a water buffalo.

October 7th, 2003 @ 8:30 am
September 2nd, 2003 @ 5:52 pm
Perl v. Pearl

Note to hep-cat Amazon employees: “Perl the programming language” “Pearl Jam the rock band”.

July 24th, 2003 @ 7:51 am
Peppermint Patty

I find it completely incomprehensible that Peppermint Patty refers to Snoopy as “a funny-looking kid with a big nose.” How could she possibly not recognize that he is a dog?!

June 12th, 2003 @ 2:12 pm
Funny Stuff in My Inbox — High School Essays

These are from a joke email circulating that purports to be “ANALOGIES & METAPHORS FOUND IN HIGH SCHOOL ESSAYS”. I highly doubt that these were actually culled from high school essays. The main reason I don’t believe it is because there is no point of reference. There is no notation or source. The second reason […]

April 30th, 2003 @ 12:52 pm
Preparation H

Buy in Bulk and Save!Preparation H suppositories supply soothing relief from the internal swelling, burning, itching, and discomfort associated with hemorrhoids. While most people likely don’t want to discuss hemorrhoids, it’s estimated that 75% of Americans will experience hemorrhoid symptoms at some point in their lives. Preparation H suppositories soothe these painful and frustrating symptoms […]

April 25th, 2003 @ 10:15 am
Euphemism Generator

She seemed like a shy girl when they met, but a few drinks later, they were throwing the rubber bald-headed chutney.

April 1st, 2003 @ 10:27 am
Mad Cow Disease

So these two cows are out in a field, chewing the cud. One of them looks over and says, “So … what do you make of all this ‘mad cow disease’ nonsense?”

February 19th, 2003 @ 7:55 am
Happy White Asparagus

There’s something just not right about this image. I can’t put my finger on it … What do you think?

February 18th, 2003 @ 11:46 am
Contextless Content: Episode #20

Contextless Content: A portion of a conversation, usually from an instant messenger platform. GatorDavid says: wait a minute … GatorDavid says: I *do* have the irresistable urge to break into a zoo, jump the fence and try and french-kiss the pissiest looking polar bear … Tober says: you’re screwed dude.

February 10th, 2003 @ 6:41 am

A Photographic HisTory of Michael Jackson’s FaceWith blithering, yet witty commentary.

January 10th, 2003 @ 1:46 pm
Big Boobs and a Liquor Store

Best thing I’ve read that someone else blogged because they read it in another blog’s comments in a long time: “Call me enlightened but I don’t care what a woman looks like as long as she has big boobs and owns a liquor store.“

December 20th, 2002 @ 6:49 am
Colossal Colon

Colossal Colon Kicks Off 20-City Tour Don’t miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to crawl through the Colossal Colon when it comes to a city near you in 2003. The 40-ft. long replica of the human colon is on the road, courtesy of the Cancer Research and Prevention Foundation, to raise awareness of early detection […]

The Church of Michael Bolton of Latter-Day Saints

December 2nd, 2002 @ 7:51 am
Singing Horses

There’s nothing in the world quite as much fun as a quartet of singing horses to brighten your Monday morning. link via 50 cups of coffee

October 27th, 2002 @ 1:06 am
Simpsons Beer Bottle Opener
October 22nd, 2002 @ 11:09 am
Yes, I have an Exactlywatt on a chain!

Yes, I have an Exactlywatt on a chain!

June 26th, 2002 @ 6:50 am
Jack in the Box

On the side of a Jack in the Box bag: Everything in here tastes amazing. Except the napkins.

June 21st, 2002 @ 5:23 pm
What Is David?

This is quite funny. From Robyn came the idea to do a Google search on “David is“.Here are the top ten eleven things David is, according to Google: David is … the devil. David is … burning. David is … triumphant over Goliath. David is … currently a hot property in the character actor business. David is … science editor for Parade Magazine, and writes […]

June 5th, 2002 @ 9:34 am

Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot ’round the world. Some friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a […]

May 29th, 2002 @ 11:03 am
The Record: Piracy-Proof

Music bosses have unveiled a revolutionary new recording format that they hope will help win the war on illegal file sharing which is thought to be costing the industry millions of dollars in lost revenue. Nicknamed the ‘Record’, the new format takes the form of a black, vinyl disc measuring 12 inches in diameter, which […]