Posts tagged “comedy”
People Hate Cats or Love Masturbation
Aye Carumba! Here are last night’s search statistics from my site: 184: god kills a kitten 142: every time you masturbate god kills a kitten 14: every time you masturbate 11: god kills kitten 7: masturbate god kills kitten 6: masturbate kitten 6: every time you god kills a kitten 6: masturbate god kills a
“My grandmother was 81, she died at home in her bed, with her daughter holding her hand. It wasn’t a prolonged illness, but at the same time we had enough warning that we were all able to say our goodbyes. Honestly, I can’t think of a better way to go. Well, maybe some sort of elaborate mass suicide involving fireworks and showgirls and drugs and showgirls on drugs, and maybe showgirls on drugs on fire. Ooh, yeah, flaming showgirls! But back to my original point. The funeral provided …”
from (un)Lovely
Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.
If you need a really good Saturday morning laugh, I have something that will surely get a giggle. (PG-13)
Bogus Permits
In which residents fool tourists
Scan Your Can
Scan Your Can Right off the bat we’ll tell you. If you shove your posterior against the glass of a scanner, no matter how shapely your derrier may be, it will look like yesterdays pancakes if unclothed. The “Can Scan” is probably the most difficult to obtain. Especially in a solo effort.
It’s A Wacky, Wacky World
Compactor
The Death Star clearly has a garbage-disposal problem.
FingerTouch
I’ve been getting some really funny spam lately. Has anyone else received this one? No one likes to touch the toilet seat. Why else would public restrooms offer those little paper liners? Fingertouch brings you that type of service at home. You never have to touch your toilet seat again.
Jesus Beeper
The always-classic Jesus Beeper! (Note: That is not a complete sentence. This is.)