Posts tagged “comedy”
joke 2
A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables around his neck. He growls at the bartender, “I want a shot of whiskey and I want it now!”
If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don’t think I’d call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp’s gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.
from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Eddie
On eddies in the space-time continuum
purity
I just took The Brunching Shuttlecocks’ Ten-Question Purity Test. Here’s what it told me: Thou hast scored only 30% pure. Thou suckest in the eyes of thy Lord. Repent now or be cast into the lake of fire to whine for all eternity. So I guess that’s kind of rough.
Erotic Martha
I really try to stay on the clean side here at davidgagne.net. After all, my mom reads this page, y’know? (Hi, mom!) Where was I? Oh, yes. The Erotic Journal of Martha Stewart is one of those places on the internet that you have to visit. link via erraticFrog via Catty Bitches
Vulture Joke
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.
Now with 33% More Sodium!
You really should be reading Über each and every day. I can’t stress this enough. I’m not kidding. Seriously. I stopped reading for a few weeks and, man, I don’t want to tell you the things that started happening to me. It was bad. Real bad. But now I’m reading Über again and everything is
Lunch
Lunch: Bologna sandwich A Day In The Life of Martha Stewart is fun reading if you aren’t afraid of her. I found the “article” in a parody eZine called Happy Woman, which has some terrific articles, like: Repair Your own Transmission and make 3 1/2 dozen Maple Butter Cookies, Funeral Etiquette Do’s & Don’ts, and
lush jungles poo
Ever wonder why jungles are so lush?