A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it.

Vaginal Architecture

More proof that Los Angeles is the world headquarters for Club Awesome™: In how many other cities can you get to the office one day to find you’re now working in Madonna’s crotch?

Sampa Grill – Encino

For lunch today a few of us walked next door to the new Brazilian restaurant that opened this week. It is literally in the building next to my office, so the bar at The Sampa Grill was the absolute closest place we could go to watch the second round of the Masters. The style is […]

Slicing Code with a Rusty Razor Blade

A year or two ago I was returning to my office from lunch with some co-workers. I spotted an old, rusty, razor blade on the sidewalk. “You don’t see that every day,” I said. In retrospect I was probably wrong. Everyone likely sees dozens of rusty razor blades on sidewalks and in gutters every day. […]

Super Bowl XLII

Right now I am sitting in my suite at the Camelback Marriott in Scottsdale, Arizona, just a little more than a day away from getting to see my Patriots in Super Bowl XLII. The story of how I got here is incredible on many levels, and even attempting to do it justice in a blog […]

This Pounding in My Head

Awesome. When I woke up today I thought to myself, “I really hope that there is someone pounding on the other side of the wall behind my head with a hammer all day.” It looks like my wish has been granted!

Sometimes You Just Need a Bat Stretcher

At some point in your life, you’re going to be asked to find a bat stretcher. This is a terrific story. I’ve gone through this experience myself, so I know the feeling. It happened to me while I was loading trucks on the midnight-to-ten shift for Old Dominion Freight Lines. One of the dock managers […]

Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America

Late Friday night I finished reading Barbara Ehrenreich‘s Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America. This one’s been in my personal queue for several years; I sort of randomly found it on the shelf while looking for something to read on the plane to New York last week. It’s a psuedo-scientific exploration of […]

Turning Out the Lights

Generally I am sitting at my desk by five-thirty in the morning. I am always completely startled by the alarm at 4:45, as if it’s the first time I’ve ever had to get out of bed. “What the hell?!” I think, although I’ve been waking up at quarter to five since I graduated from college. […]

Good Karma

Last week while I was returning from lunch, I found a lost cell phone near Quizno’s. I scrolled through the contact list and called My Sister. My Sister said that the phone belonged to her sister and that she was probably very upset that the phone was catching rays, lounging in the grass instead of […]

The Refrigerator: A Source of Workplace Stress

In-depth reporting from Staples.com:The Refrigerator: A Source of Workplace Stress

49ers Tickets Missed

I used to work for a paging company about 600 years ago. InterLink Paging. This was back in the dark ages, when mobile phones were still the size of shoe boxes and it actually made sense to own (or lease) a “beeper”. I constantly receive phone calls for previous owners of my numbers. Anyway. We […]


I have Papa John’s pizza on speed dial on my office phone.

Semi-nude Housekeepers

NEEDED Semi-nude Housekeepers (LA area) Happy Housekeepers, Inc., is expanding from the New York City market into Los Angeles. We provide semi-nude housekeepers to “lightly” clean apartments, condos and homes in the Los Angeles area. We are hiring 3 to 5 attractive, voluptuous, or sexy young women between the ages of 18 and 30. This […]

Barry Manilow

I drove over the hill and down into West Hollywood yesterday for an interview. At some point during my trip I topped 10,000 miles on my truck. After the interview I met my girlfriend at the Olive Garden and then we booked to the Kodak Theater. Our friends, Michael and Deanna, got us tickets to […]

Build Cathedral

I forgot that the reason you get “paid” to do “jobs” is because it’s not something you’d leap up out of bed in the morning raring to do, without the carrot of filthy lucre leading you on … “Real work” for me is something you just do as a consequence of being who you are […]


A recent survey of 6,000 people by recruitment company TMP Worldwide found that irritating mobile phone rings are the top workplace nuisance, followed by malfunctioning equipment such as photocopiers, fax machines and printers. I recently finished my first stint as a contract programmer. (Although I was employed for a few months in 2000 on a […]

Dangerous Jobs

According to the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH), farm workers are risking their lives every time they enter a manure pit.


My drive home is always exciting. link via youshik


Sitting in the Office A haiku: work goes well – music Alanis M in headphones battery dies. blah.


Woo hoo! I got my Secret Santa gift yesterday. It’s a very merry Homer Simpson Collector’s Trivia Tin! Thank you, Lee! Click ‘more’ for some great Simpsons links!